Funny, really, how worked up about handling Christmas alone I have allowed myself to become this last week or so. So much to do and never seems enough time to do it. I allowed myself to be dragged down and into a funk over doing this on my own this year for my son...I put on my happy mask and kept on trudging thru the 'things to do list'. As I sit here tonight, waiting for my son to be firmly asleep, and dreading the upcoming placing of the gifts under the tree, alone, I ran thru the list one more time of all that I have accomplished to pull this off this year. It suddenly has struck me that I HAVE DONE THIS EVERY YEAR ALONE. Sure My X was here, but NEVER did anything other than MAYBE help carry the gifts in from the garage...IF he wasn't drunk, asleep, hungover or had his head stuck in a TV show. I did all the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, the Christmas cards, etc....I have made this holiday festive for my son EVERY YEAR, ALONE. It's amazing how proud I am of that fact. I AM a GREAT mother. It's my #1 job and for as much as I have stressed myself out over tomorrow morning, I have been doing this for years. It's an amazing discovery for me to realize that my X's laziness and lack of caring over the years has been a BLESSING. It has prepared me to make tomorrow morning joyous and meaningful for my wonderful son. Funny how things work. Merry Christmas to you all!
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