I used to hear this all the time when my daughter was younger. I wrote up a bill for what it costs me to raise her each month, food etc.
that helped her to see. I also told her it was not her money. the end.

She has a very misguided idea of what child support is. I wonder where she GOT that idea.

I would make it clear what your ex pays child support for..then I would not tolerate that from her.

Teenagers..hmm.. I think I have a few good years left.

First of all what a jerk for telling her..It has put you in a difficult position. I would explain that if she was living with her father she would not get the money, he would use it to feed her, buy her clothes, etc.. I was advised to have it written into my divorce agreement that finances will not be discussed with the children. Now I am thinking it was great advice.

WTF? OMG! Tell her to STFU and be the Daughter, you be the Mommy. LOL. How old is she? 13 or 19?

Tell her it's What they Call it, but this is between you and him and Uncle Sam.


Ok, get out a calculator and start writing up Bills. Her Fair Market Cost for Room, board, food, doctors, psychiatric, pediatric, insurance, gas, electric, water and taxes.

I'm sure it's more than the CS.

oh, Taxi service too

Logic and common sense tell me to think and say the same things you are saying to me, so it helps hearing it from you, but, I feel I have to justify myself to her and that bothers me.
This morning for example she started up again demanding to know what I'm doing with "her money". I was so frustrated I was tempted to write an e-mail to my ex and cc a copy to to my daughter, but I'm glad I didn't.

Again I say tell her its none of her buisness. it is not her money.

Tell her that that is the amount he pays you... tell HER that that is the amount SHE ALSO should be paying YOU. Turn the tables on her! Let her squirm.

you know they say now a days kids should know the household budget. break it down for her. and that was a rotten thing for her father to do. child support is not fun spend money for the kids as they think it is. i say show her the rent, bills, grocery amounts. perhaps she'll rethink those nasty little remarks and apologize.

You do not have to justify yourself to her. You also do not have to account for that money to her. If you were not providing food, clothing, shelter..he might have something to say. Otherwise..neither your ex or your daughter are entitled to your finances.

I told my kids about child support. Not in a negative way. My son was feeling abandoned and I wanted to let him know that he hasn't been. His dad comes to see him, loves him, and still helps me make sure that he has what he needs.

If my son ever refers to that money as "his"..I will set him strait.

it's surely a jaw dropper, eh? Tell her she should go become a lawyer. LOL

I agree with Che2 he is using her as a weapon. Honestly it seems to working well. Shame on him for playing with his daughter in such a way. Only real suggestion I can give you is do not do the same.

Is she seeing a therapist? If so maybe have a session with the three of you where you talk through this in a neutral enviromen. Just try to remember that while your ex was an ass for talking to her about this, teenagers as a whole tend to be very self centered and narcissistic. They can't help it, it has to do with their brain development at that age. Combine what is going on developmentally with a father who is feeding into that narcissism and presto...a daughter who feels entitled to "her" money. Good luck.

thanks so much for your advice. I feel stronger and with more resolve already.

She needs to know that this is a court ordered and/or agreed upon amount that the non-custodial parent must send to the custodial parent for their share in the expenses for raising the child. You can then list all the expenses associated with raising her (Food, clothing, electric, water, rent, gas, etc...) that you deem neccesary to show the actual cost to raise a child. You can go a step further and explain how you both are responsible for her expenses. For example, you are responsible for the water that you use while he is responsible for the water that he uses. However, you both are responsible for the water that she uses. The child support that he sends is to cover his share of her water. Let her know that it's not just water but any and all expenses involved with raising her. Explain that if she lived with him that you would have to send that same amount of money to him and not to her for the above reasons. She needs to understand that it is not a gift, from him to her, that he chooses to send. It's something that he is legally responsible to pay to you.