Not sure how CS can hurt the children... by being 'court-ordered'?

Not gettin the very minimal support that I was awarded def. hurts my kids and jeporadizes their future along with mine. My x isn't paying at all, he can support the whore but not his own kids.

I dont see how it could hurt the child??

I was wondering the same thing myself. I don't have children myself and the amount awarded for child support is usually tiny from what I have seen here. I believe that this is in reference to the 'Advice' thread. In that situation the father see's the child 4 days a month and is not paying support. If they go down the court root could the cusody change? Possibly. This would not likely be in the childs best interest. I'm not condoning it, but there could be ramifications if the father chooses to fight for 50/50 custody.

It appears a few people have suggested that it is worth going through this process of having custody and support court ordered regardless of the potential outcome.

For example, my brother paid court ordered child support in a timely and equitable fashion for years. He lost his job and now he sits in jail for two months of back child support. Which further hurts his children by a. separating them from an involved father b. while he's locked up he certainly isn't going to be able to find a new job any faster to help support his children and c. the mother works full time and none of her income is counted in the equation to help 'support' her children. Finally, D. is that the mother constantly threatens him with 'not being able to see the kids' which isn't up to her it's up to the judge. So whenever she drops the kids off for a visit she bitches in front of them about how they won't be able to see each other if daddy doesn't 'pay'. How is that beneficial to these children?

I dont see how it could hurt either. In my case, he still got 50/50 custody and visitation in spite of the fact he never pays. And being in default of the child support doesnt prevent court visitation. He still comes and goes yet owes me $11,000. I take comfort in that he will never own a thing in his name, get a decent job until he pays. And it wont go away either when she turns 18. Not the part that he owes all the way up till she graduates.

I dont know what will happen in my case. My stbx just vanshed a while ago. She is going to owe me big time.

In Scotland we can either sort that out between us, of go through a specially set up government agency to sort it - it never goes to court and is seen as seperate from any divorce and custody hearings. I sorted it out with my ex myself and he's been true to his word and for 8 years has never been late or short with it. But if this isn't possible, then I agree, get it done officially, that should actually be helpful in the long run as its something less you have to fight about.

And like you said for a considerable small sum of $550 he is unable to see his children or vice versa and unable to continue searching for employment.

And like you said for a considerable small sum of $550 he is unable to see his children or vice versa and unable to continue searching for employment.

He was jailed for two months for owing $550.. That does not seem reasonable at all. How could a judge possibly order that?

Ok...Going to make a comment here. This comes from an experience I had with my oldest sons mother back in the 90's.

I think the way CS is spent should be monitored. I think if courts can monitor the people who pay to make sure it is being paid, that there should be some accountability on how it is being used.

Thank God I finally got custody of my oldest.

My child support did not go for him at all. It went to new bongo jeans, and other clothes and to pay for partying. Hell my oldest did not even live with her, but with her great grandmother who I went to weekly and gave more money out of my pocket for diapers and medicines at that time.

I tried to make a stink about it, but all I got was was the courts did not care.

I am not saying this happens all the time. I am just saying I think there should be some accountability on both sides of the coin. Sometimes courts do not give custody/support to the right parent...


/rant off.

Did he go to Court for the arrears before they put him in jail?
Odd that they'd arrest him for failure to pay, while unemployed, unless he missed the Court date to show that he was out of work.

If she works and is using the lack of CS to keep the kids from him, he has a strong case to get CS reduced based on her income in the calculation and another case against her for keeping the kids from him, breaking Court Ordered visitation... which I assume he has? If not, he should file for it.

I swear to God. That's exactly the amount! They stated that it was because he had no 'desire' to find employment. Even though he turned in a document listing over 100 positions he applied for while searching. I can't even believe this is justifiable as good for the kids.