I agree Courier, my x said that he cheated because I wouldn't forgive him for all of the crap he put us through. internet affairs, drug use and abuse, lying,etc. Great reason huh? I am appalled when cheaters come on here whining about how bad their life is, well duh!Maybe their life sucks because of what they have done. My x cheated on the ow and she whined and cried about it, imagine that.

There is NO reason for cheating! If someone wants "out" they should have the decency to sit the other one down and say "I'm unhappy and I want out". Sure it's going to be hard and sure it's going to hurt, but not nearly as bad as cheating! Cheaters are just cheating themselves, they can't be honest to anyone, let alone themselves.

Courrier my ex cheated on me and she told me to get over it because everyone does it! Does that make it right? NO!!!!!

Courier-I have about given up on the thought of Morals. I feel like a Dinosaur. I have have spent all of these years fighting against what I believe to be wrong...and now I am afraid that it is so openly accepted that there is little else.

Probably making no sense here...

I always joked that I was allergic to cubic zerconia, had to have diamonds...well, I am afraid that we are living in a world that accepts rhinestones.

I would like to see horrible things happen to Cheaters, Beaters, Liars and Addicts of all Species...but there will always be the Majority who has been conditioned to feel Sorry for them. After all, they really had no control...

Tami..I've known several addicts that have recovered and live happy and full lives. I don't throw them in the pot myself..sorry.

As far as morals. If you give up on them now, that makes it just that much easier for the next generation to push the envelope further. Instead I choose to stand by my moral foundation and do my best to pass this on to my children so hopefully tomorrow will be a little brighter.

The OW in my story used to sit at the lunch table everyday with us adn often told us that she justified taking lovers cuz her husband of 20 years was a jerk and verbally abusive. Now that she has taken my stbx as an additional lover, I have ehard form OW's husband. His side of the story is that she is "sick" and "addicted to sex" adn simply cannot stop ehrself -- he has simply grown tolerant of the behavior (altho he drew the line at my husband and said he didn't like this affair cuz it cost OW her paycheck when I fired her). he even tried "swinging" with her eyars ago. He says he dosn't expect anyone to be monogomous. I remember once that OW got all bent out of shape when she discovered this husband of ehrs had been with a prostitute one time -- it was a very weird double standard adn we just listened to the charming way she had of telling these stories, thinking we wouldn't pass judgment on her personal life -- now she has her husband and is screwing mine (literally and figuratively). My additional question is: how can a woman who ahs worked with me and my hsuband everyday for almost 3 eyars think that it is OK to be with my husband sexually and emotionally? Yes, I know my husband's role, but what about her?

I've no use for cheaters, none whatsoever! If that makes me a prude or a dinosaur then so be it. Addicted to sex? Give me a break, I'm sick of hearing that. You have a spouse, if you're addicted to sex...um well...O.K. I won't go there but you get my drift!

As for NOT expecting a monogamous marriage, try raising your standards (the OW's husband that is).

NM-thank you for giving me a chance to clarify-Those who Wallow in Addiction...not Recovered Addicts. I KNOW what it is to come back from an addiction-it is Hell.

To many are having their cake and eating it too...goes with what has been said in another thread, no commitment, no marital values in this society...There are always other acceptable options, cheating should never be considered an acceptable option....

The term "Sexual Addiction" Please look it up and read the clinical definition before laughing and rolling eyes.

Living with THAT is a nightmare.

It has Nothing to Do with Sex. In fact, if Real Sex is Happening-You're damned lucky.

I had one of those nights where I woke up alot last night and one session fo that I spent thinking about whether they could truly be happy if they're stated focus in life is simply to ahve as much sex as possible. I mean, there has to be mroe to life than that. OW even recently told us (at the damn lunch table) that she was refusing to have some surgical procedure cuz it would dampen her libido and, when questioned by me and others, said that sex was more important to ehr than her health. Her and stbx are a match made in heaven - until she hits the point with him (like I did) where he prefers to do it with himself, all by himself, then she might feel left out like I did. Have fun, OW whore. Anyway, I questioned myself about whether they had a good point or not, that maybe sex is the ultimate life experience -- NOT! There is sex and there is much, much more.

well on that note they claim that pyromania is technically a sexually stimulated crime....i don't get that either!

if you are not happy in your current relationship... leave.. get out..

then go screw whoever else you want to..

if you stay.. you stay faithful.

as for sex.. the last 5 years of the marriage before we separated.. no sex.. and i was faithful.. our break up was not due to lack of intimacy.. that was low on the list. After the separation took place.. oh yeah.. I went out and got laid.. I am not asham to admit it.. I found comfort in the arms of someone.
And I felt no guilt, no shame.. the marriage had ended.. his choice.. mutual choice really... and it was not going to be mended...it was divorce court and finalized 3 years after the separation.

yes..3 years...

if you want sex... and that is the basis of your relationship.. then you have a sexual addiction.. and need help before you get some nasty disease and die.. or spread it... do not go out and find some married person to pull into your sick world... that is so wrong.. and do not ruin a marriage with your sickness.

sorry for the vent and confession.. I know a lot of you think it is wrong to be 'dating' while you are separated.. but I did.. and I felt no shame.. it was something I did for myself.. if I had waited til after the divorce it would of been close to 8 years without any.

Actually NM, many crimes are sex based. Arson and Murder to name two. Sex crimes however are not, they are based on anger. Go figure!

OH NO! I just realized that one of the reasons I bought this condo was because of the fireplace! OK well the big soaker tub too, now I'm worried...damn you NM!