Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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deleted_user 10/22/2007

I don't understand myself sometimes. My husband came over yesterday to get his things. He never spoke and for some unknown reason I got so upset I had to go outside to vomit. I have done nothing but cry since. We were married for 13 years, have 2 children, our relationship was not very good from the start. There has always been physical abuse (rarely), verbal abuse (daily) and emotional abuse (daily) in our marriage. He had 10 jobs within our 13 year marriage and he hasn't had a full time job in almost 3 years. I can not understand why I am so devastated over losing this man. I would still take him back in a heart beat. What is wrong with me?

deleted_user 10/22/2007

Well, our hearts don't often follow our heads in these matters, do they?

Nobody could figure out why I married my husband, but he broke my heart every time he walked out on me.

Now, not so much.

deleted_user 10/22/2007

There is nothing wrong with you. You loved this man, you had kids with him, and had hopes for the future. The right question is what is wrong with him?

Hang in there!

deleted_user 10/22/2007

You know the fear of the unknown is sometimes scarier to us than the known, even if it is not a good place to be. You need to find what is best for you and your children, aduse makes you all unsafe.

deleted_user 10/22/2007

I totally understand you because Im in the same situation.. I think we have to find ourselve again and start loving us because these guys know they can come and go and do what they please and we will still be there no matter what.. we have to break that chain and stay strong for our kids because they are learning from us and we dont want them to make yhe same mistake we are making.. stay stong and try to remember we dont deserve it.. its their loss no ours.. I know its easier said then done but love yourself enough to say I deserve and my kids deserve better.. Hugs to you and hope things get better for you..

deleted_user 10/22/2007

You gave your heart to him. You made a promise. You believed in that.

It will be a fight for your head to rule your heart and get you through this. You can make it.

You may even find happiness in a very short period of time, happiness of not having the emotional abuse daily.

I have happy days-they are days that I KNOW stbx is not in town. I feel Good and can leave my house freely.

Emotional abuse conditions us. Fight back with the truth and deprogram yourself.

deleted_user 10/22/2007

I think its about familiarity. Maybe even comfort in things not changing. This may sound a bit odd, but perhaps you have become so accustomed to the abuses that to change that routine would be even more disturbing? My first inclination was to say, why would you stay with a man who hits?, let alone chastises and/or belittles you. You have immense self-worth and self-esteem. Use them now to remind yourself once a cheater, always a cheater and one a hitter, always a hitter. Walk towards the light and always keep the sun on your shoulders.

deleted_user 10/23/2007

I completely understand how you feel. I have gone back 4 times, and you know the saddest part is I would go back again. I miss being with someone, I miss my house, I miss being able to say my husband. But honestly that is about it.

I almost had a relapse this weekend and went back to him, Somehow by the grace of God it didnt happen and I am so thankful. Hang in there be strong and good things will come to you soon.

deleted_user 10/23/2007

So glad you are here. You are not alone. my stbx has been emotionally absent from the relationship for a long time. but i remember feeling like I was going to cry until i got sick. bless you

deleted_user 10/23/2007

Intellectually you may very well know you're better off but your heart loves him and that's why you're sad. (Wow, I should be getting paid for this, eh? ;)

scteach01 10/23/2007

Nothing is wrong with you. Head and heart in conflict, as usual. When you figure it out, please let me know. : )

deleted_user 10/23/2007

Nothing is wrong with you. You hurt and your still need time to heal (so everyone says). I am a newbie at this sort of thing myself, but I know that you are having perfectly normal feelings.

Take care.

deleted_user 10/23/2007

You are in the same boat with many. of us here! I just posted for the first time yesterday.. My husband of 11 years walked out on me also. He would drink then verbaly abused me. I dont know why we hurt so much when in out heart of hearts we KNOW this is the best thing for us. Just one day on this site is making me feel better. Not as alone. I know all about the sick, can't eat, sleep or function. STAY STRONG! WE DESERVE ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT!

deleted_user 10/23/2007

I went through the same thing two years ago-When my X left I heaved in the backyard and cried out loud like someone was killing me.My X was not someone I wanted to stay with-our marriage was shit-I would not have ever taken him back-But I was never going to see him again-The man I shared my heart,body and soul with.I was devastated-He never even flinched-I will never forget how cold he was-When you are married-you are bonded to someone even if they are bad for you.There is nothing wrong with you-your reaction was normal-Our X's-are the ones who are not normal.

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