I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, but even though I am much older, I do understand. I think the best thing you can do is be good to yourself. I know this is not easy, but it does help. Take some time for you and do something fun. Take care of yourself

I feel so bad for you, hon. All I can say is that you have to start by taking care of YOU and your kids. You will be no good to your babies if you don't take care of yourself. You have to come to the realization that you DESERVE to find someone (down the line) that cherishes you. As for your X, well there is nothing in the world that you can to to MAKE him do anything. I learned this the hard way. I couldn't MAKE my X love me, treat me right, spend time at home instead of the bars. I couldn't MAKE him not cheat, and no matter what I do from now on...I cannot MAKE him be a better father. That is his choice and he will regret it down the line when his son wants nothing to do with him because he couldn't spend the time now. All I can say is that you do what you need to do for yourself and your children. Try to stay strong and keep moving, even if it's one babystep at a time. Good luck to you!

This weekend has been so hard for me but you guys are right I cant change him and I willnot try.. I guess I have start thinking of my kids and I before anything.. Thanks

I hear you darlin.... like a slap in the face... they move on.. and we are here...numb... feeling so numb and no longer part of a family.

the others are so right.. you must now be selfish...be focussed and be strong. You are the Mom.. and you have to take care of you and the kids now. Take, be selfish, if it means hard talk to him about seeing the kids.. do it.

be well and know that I am thinking very good thoughts for you.

Sooo hear you... my ex has a new partner, met her 2 months after i left him and they take the kids out and play happy families at the weekend. i have a new partner but my ex has made threats about what he will do if my partner meets them. how is it they can get on with their lives while we are stuck in this place. i think it is just a mum thing. we will always have that sense of responsibility.

The others are right, you cannot change him and you need to look out for you! My stbx sees his kids every 2-3 months for 3-4 days. Calls once every week and a half or so. It keeps getting longer between times. He has moved on and I guess the kids aren't part of that. Hurts like hell but it is reality. All you can do is make sure your kids know that YOU love them and that YOU will be there for them. Take care, Beth

im sorry honey.
I dont have kids with my ex so i am not gonna have much insight on that but i can promise u that time will help ur pain...
Its been 7 months since my fiance left me and i was a freakin mess...if u read any of my journals u will get a slight idea of how much i missed him and how much of an emotional wreck i was....
I started to feel like id never be ok again...i ried everyday...missed him every second.,,.all i wanted was for another chance.,..
I couldnt stand the idea of dating anyone or even going out for that fact... and the idea of him being woth someone or talking to a girl literally tore my heart right out....
I am tellin u this in hopes that u will realize that i was were u r emotionally....i felt like i was drowning in my pain and couldnt climb out...the thought of not being in pain was a dream...
It took a long time, 1000000000 tears and alot of acceptance but i am starting to feel a lil better..,.
no where near good but better...
Time does help as muh as u dont wanna hear that...it does
I can imagine its much harder having to continue contact with ur ex bc of the kids....I felt the lack of ontact i had with my ex helped me out in the long run....
I guess in ur case u need to seperate ur mom role from wife role... i know its gotta b hard but for ur sanity u need to find a way to seperate the 2.
when u do talk/asee ur ex keep itt strickly business and dont ask or let him ask bout personal lives....
think of him as a coworker not an ex.
try to avoid seeing him as muh as possible...seeing him will be much harder than just talking...if the kids r old enough let them run to him when he picks them up or have a friend there for the trade for a ouple weeks so u dont have to see him...the best thing for u now is as much space as possibible

as for getting upset bout him chosing a woman over the kids.....
He is going through alot of emotions and changes also,.,., he is tryin to dealk with it also - i am in no way condoning what he is doing but think of it like hes going through a mid life crisis...hopefully it will pass shortly....
try to avoid argueing or anything like that....
try to keep the peace - the more ander the more emotions and the more upset u get
try to maybe write a letter or calmly explain to him that his dis-interest in his kids is not only hurting u - its hurting the kids...
if he is a good father he will try to make this easier for the kids....they r going through alot also try to gently remind ur ex that they need him in their lives more right now.....
if all else fails - therapy can always help whether its for u, ur ex , ur kids or all togehter -
focus on the kids and urself not him

There's really nothing that can be said to sooth your heart and I'm normally a person of many many words. The only words I have for you is this: Be a good mom. Love your kids. The less attention they get from him the more they'll need from you. I odn't have kids but I would imagine this would put more pressure on you. This will probably spend youi emotionally. You'll eventually need a break. Find time for yourself as well as make time for your little one's. NO one can make a person be a good parent.

I know the pain is terrible. I am working on this too. My advice is start making a plan for yourself. What are your future goals? You have the best job in the world, being a mom. I know sometimes it feels unfair that you burden all the responsibility, but it is the most precious thing, children. So realize, while your husband is out there having his fun, he is not a true man. He is not an asset to society and he is only looking out for himself. Realize that you are strong, and a asset to society because you are taking responsibility to raise healthy children and have not flaked out on your responisbility. If you look at it like that you might feel stronger. Thats exactly how I feel.

I wish I could help you in a more definitive way. I am in a similar boat, except that she is moving on, and I felt that we had a shot at getting back together. I feel like a fool, but that is my cross to bear. When you figure it out, let me know. The only thing that I can think of is to harden my heart, but I do not want to do that...not yet.