My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for almost a year and I'm still having problems getting over the whole thing. We were together for 3 years. We met in college, he was a year older than me and we dated for a while once I graduated (i'm 23 years old now). We lived about an hour apart so most of the time we were doing long distance, but it never seemed to bother us. After I graduated and he had been working at his job for about a year, he decided to quit and go back to school for physical therapy which we both knew was going to be time consuming but i told him I didn't care how long it was going to take him, I was going to stick by his side, which I did. Then in April of last year, things started to fall apart, we were both feeling disconnected and trying to see each other qas getting harder, not to mention, i hated my job. So we talked about what was going on and we mutually decided to end it. And the next day I immediately regretted it and we decided we were going to wait a week and talk in person and decide then, and he ultimately ended up ending the relationship and kind of never looked back. I was miserable for months after, crying on the phone to him every night. 8 months later we saw each other for the first time at 2 of our mutual friends engagement party (the bride happens to be my best friend and his best girl friend) we were both nervous, and he approached, even though I had no plans to initiate conversation myself. It was a mess, we played the catch up game and things were okay, then after a few drinks i broke down and I poured my heart out to him while he just watched. i told him how not having him around the last 8 months was the hardest thing i've had to go through, not having him there after 3 years of us being in love and talking about marriage and one day having a family. We basically haven't spoken since, and I'll be seeing him again in August at the wedding. While I haven't seen or talked to him since January I still feel myself slipping back into depressed moods because all I can think about is how i know in my heart that he's the only one for me and that we're supposed to be together, regardless of what i try to trick myself into believe to make me feel better. It constantly hurts me that for 2 people who once felt so sure about being together can no feel so opposite about the whole thing. How is it possible that after almost a year of being apart, i can still love him so fully and unconditionally and he just has nothing left for me, when at one point, he was more sure of us than I was; telling me things like he knew we were going to be together and be okay no matter what happened. I just don't know what to do anymore. Every time i think about being in another relationship, or being with someone else, i think about him and i get sick to my stomach because I don't want to be with anyone but him. And I can't talk to him at this point because of everything we've been through in the last year. I need help and don't know what to do!
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