Damn, I started off having such a good day. Then I tried to get some sleep, as I was laying there I just started thinking about the ex again. I just thought about how I built my life around her, and now she's gone. I came damn close to calling her, luckily a friend called me just then. I seem to be making great progress, and I give people the advice of no contact, but damn it I came so close to breaking the rule tonight. I just wanted to text her and say I built my life around you, isn't there anything I can do? Damn I hate set backs like this, I wish I could just stop thinking this way. At least I made it through this time, I don't really know what to do when it happens again. I go to the doctor tomorrow and I'm not sure if he's going to give me any more anxiety meds, one of the few things that are keeping me sane through this madness. I hate my lack of self restraint, I wish I could just stop these feelings in their tracks. She did me so wrong at the end, but the memories just keep flooding in and bring the hurt with them. Fuck, I just feel so helpless sometimes.
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