Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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broken vision

deleted_user
deleted_user
It will be a year December 1, since that faitfull day. The day that ended my old life and began my new life or the so called life I lead now. The vision of where I thought i'd be in a year is not here. Where am i ......... still lonelyness fills my days. It was a bad marriage from day one.... I was always made to feel less of and to stuff those violent one sided fights never shared them with my closets friends.... I lived for my children ..... now their gone for a whole week no contact....... and no reason to live on those weeks.....I tried church today to escape the lonelyness.... don't feel like it worked.... I've tried to fake it until I make it.... but the sadness and lonelyness have wrapped around me like a black cloud... I thought in a year it will all be ok I would be ok .. the year is almost here and I miss my daughters and life I thought I would have...does anyone know when you become ok? When you find peace and your not lonely anymore?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Froggy, anniversaries are hard. Have you considered you may have moved from grief to depression? Have you had any counseling? You are close to your family; do you have good friendships?
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is different for everyone...I found in the beginning I was like you all the time...then slowly it became Ok some of the time then more and more of the time until I am OK almost all of the time...my loneliness or unrest now is not linked to my X but my own inner struggles..I suggest therapy and keep going back especially when you don't want to or think you are done with it that is when the great leaps into health occur it is amost like our unhealthy emotional states don't want to change so they send you the message that you don't need therapy anymore, or you get upset with your therapist when he or she gets close to a break thru..I am sorry for what you are going thru perhaps therapy is needed..all I can tell u is it helps me...


KIM
deleted_user
deleted_user
CVGL
Had a great therapist had to let her go when the x canceled my insurance. I have great family and friends who have been holding me together for a year. I've been a mom for 15 years and I don't know what to do with myself on those weeks when I'm alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, Froggy, you know the greatest gift you can give your children is to build a life of your own outside of them that you can be happy in. My mother 'lived for us' and it was - and still is - a terrible burden of guilt for me and all of us. We felt and feel responsible for her happiness. (Hard because she lives 1000 miles away.) So, no guilt for your children is a great gift. Kids feel better and safer when they know their parents' lives do not totally revolve around them.

So for yourself, and for them, take a small step every day to build that life. Not two steps, but not less than one. Every day, do just one thing toward that life. You have the raw material in your friends and family. Do you have any interests you could pursue?

Also, if you dig hard enough, you can often find free therapy in your community.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dear Froggy,

I have experienced clinical depression up close and personal and its not something I ever want to go through again.

Like someone else mentioned on this thread. You may be experiencing depression. Please see an MD and he/she can help you with it.

Don't give up until you get the help you need and yes I agree the greatest gift you can give your children is to be happy with yourself.

Hang in there. There is help out there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, Froggy, as Alexandria said, I too know what depression looks like and this very well could be what is keeping you in the hole. If so, the right medication is worth more than years of therapy. You can ask your regular MD about this.
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