It will be a year December 1, since that faitfull day. The day that ended my old life and began my new life or the so called life I lead now. The vision of where I thought i'd be in a year is not here. Where am i ......... still lonelyness fills my days. It was a bad marriage from day one.... I was always made to feel less of and to stuff those violent one sided fights never shared them with my closets friends.... I lived for my children ..... now their gone for a whole week no contact....... and no reason to live on those weeks.....I tried church today to escape the lonelyness.... don't feel like it worked.... I've tried to fake it until I make it.... but the sadness and lonelyness have wrapped around me like a black cloud... I thought in a year it will all be ok I would be ok .. the year is almost here and I miss my daughters and life I thought I would have...does anyone know when you become ok? When you find peace and your not lonely anymore?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??