I desperately have been looking for a space to share my story and get some support during this very sad and painful time in my life.
My Ex (as at the moment that is what we are based on her request) and I had been together for almost 4years and 1month (of which we were engaged for 1 year). On the anniversary of our engagement, the 27th of January, something happened which I can only describe as a plot out of an afternon soapie).
I am currently in Saudi, I arrived here on the 11th of Jan to start work, she is back at home completing her Comm Serv (she is a doctor). We ahve been in a long distance relationship for 2 years already so we are use to it, and this opportunity was part of our greater plan for our future. Of course it causes issues but we worked through it before I left.
The week of the 27th was a strange one; internet was off most of the time due to a cyber attack in this country, which meant I could not stay in touch as I needed wifi for whatsapp. When we had spoken that week, we were happy loving and talking about marrage and our future, then I lost signal complete for most of the day. I arrived home at around midnight from my shift to find a message from her of a screen shot and a subject reading "what is this???"
I opened the screen shot to find an old colleague of mine accusing me of soliciting sex from her in 2014, which would put it in the 2nd year of our relationship. Another odd fact was that the date of the message was june 2015, not 27th of January 2017. Somehow my fiance had missed this facebook message andfound it tragicaly on the anniversary of our engagement. My fiance was livid, and I can only imagine. She had sent the message at 3 that afternoon and had to wait 9hours before I responded, it must have driven her crazy.
I told her not to concern herself as this colleague, yes we had a fling but it was long before I met my current partner, and regarding the the soliciting, it was false and untrue. Fiance would have nothing to do with it. She would then go silent. I contacted this colleague and confronted her on the message, she apologized and confessed it was not her but her husband, who at that time was diagnosed with bipolar and sent a lot of people similar messages. I sent a screen shot of this to my fiance, but it did not help...
My fiance says the message changed the way she sees me, that she can't trust me anymore and no makes her doubt I am the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. She requested we take some time out so she can make sense of how she is feeling, I agreed and said she must take as much times as she needs.
The next day I started up a conversation with her, and was met with anger and distain. She told me that I must respect her request, and that our engagement was off and that we were no longer together. I did not agree to breaking off anything, just time apart, she hwoever seemed to have other plans...
I pleaded for days with er, but she wouldn't have it.
Eventually I agreed and said that if that is what she wants, and because I love her, i'll call it off, though reluctantly. I tried to initiate conversation again and she responded say that I am no longer her man, her rock, or her future. I must not include her in my leave plans, and must not plan my future with her in mind. I must not know what is going on in her life, and nor does she want to know what is going on in my life. Maybe we will be friends, maybe get back together, maybe she'll fall in love with someone else, who knows (all her words).
I am beyond myself with greif and sadness and I struggle to come to terms with this.
Any able to relate and offer advice?
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