Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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BLAME

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been struggling with the issue of blame lately. I know my stbx is the one who wanted to divorce and she did not want to seek help or anything. She all of a sudden decided this and there was no part of her that wanted to even try. I feel sometimes that this was my fault. I did not cheat or abuse her. We just had a rocky start with her always busy with her new school and we got a little distant, and there were some arguments here and there. I guess things happened so fast that I do not know how we ended up like this after two months of marriage. We have now been separated for two weeks and will be filing shortly.
deleted_user
deleted_user
does it really matter, who will take the blame. i know the pain your going through, the what if's will drive you crazy, look inside yourself and change the things you feel contributed to the rough times in the marriage and change them. become a person you love and respect. and then you'll take all of that forward and perhaps into a better relationship at some point.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow,at least you didnt waste 8 yrs like I did.I know you love her but u need to respect yourself too!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know I did some things that hurt her feelings. I just wish that I knew in my heart that I am a good person and that I did not cause this, and that she is the one with issues. I just need to know this was her doing and her flaws. I mean who divorces someone after being married 8 weeks?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Man....at least there are no kids involved.Thats painful,seeing a little creature that looks like the person who just destroyed your heart.I'm not saying u dont hurt,you do!But when I feel bummed out,I think about the things in this life that could be much worse.
Living well is the best revenge!
deleted_user
deleted_user
8 weeks, two years, 15 years...does it really matter? the pain is still there...I'm sorry she's not even willing to try.
deleted_user
deleted_user
arguments happen but when two people are comitted they work through those arguments. It sounds as if she just didn't care to follow through with the comittment. Don't be to harsh on yourself, you are only human.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Every relationship with two people, good or bad, has two that are responcible for working things out. Hardships and problems happen, learn from where you made mistakes, but don't blame your self, your only human, just learn from thoose mistakes. The way I look at blame is it is either masked guilt or anger depending on which way it is pointing, neither are healthy for you. So don't seek blame only seek healing so that you may learn and grow, then you will have hope of a relationship that will work and last, but remember it takes BOTH to work things out and you can't control the other person no matter how hard you might try, so you can only work on what helps you have a healthy outlook.

Peace my brother, may you find that hope, healing, and happiness you deserve.
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