Yesterday was my birthday and I was really worried about it. Its the big 40! But, I kept busy and tried not to think about it. I did ok , until a friend that I haven't talked to in 15 years called me out of the blue to wish me a happy birthday. It was a really nice thing to do. The problem is, I realized that this person who has not spoken to me in 15 years cares more about me than the man I have been married to for the last 18 years of my life. How can that be? So, of course today, the tears are flowing. I am 40 and worried that I will never love again. I am scared that I will spend the next 40 years of my life alone and pining for a man that can't even have the decency to wish me a happy birthday after 18 years of marriage.
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