
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After some time has past (whatever you think is appropriate) gradually make your presence known again.
I just let my H know that I love him, I want our marriage to work, and that I am willing to work out our issues. I do give him his "space". This is working for us, we have an open line for commnunication and I feel we are making progress. We might or might not be a married couple 6 months from now, but we are still friends.
I find if you pursue too much, they either resent you for being too needy or too easily available.
Everyone's situation is different and I hope all works out well for you and your wife.
May God Bless and help you find peace.
i don't understand your therapist saying to pursue her. what does she mean exactly by that? pursue how? phone calls, visits, emails?
did your therapist clarify that?
2nd..since it's your wife that wants the separation, byt definiation, that word means to..."separate"..so again, not understanding the pursue part. some communication is essential. you continuing to let her know you love her, want to work on it, are there for her etc. but have you set limiations? meaning...has your wife said to NOT call, DON'T come visit etc? what are the ground rules or are there even any?
i don't like the idea of playing hard to get. it is exactly what it's called...
playing. your marriage is too important to play with. your relationship with your wife is too important to play with. if it wasn't, her leaving wouldn't be an issue for you, despite your abandonment issues. i think, above all else, total honesty is the key. always it's the key. ask your wife what she would like. and then honestly tell her if that is do-able for you. if there is a chance to reconcile, then she very well may be willing to openly discuss how often you see each other, speack etc.
so..i told you i'm not great on advice, but i've got some great thoughts!
now...if i could just get my own head straight over my ex...life would be so much better.
ps...you are not the only one with abandonment issues honey...not by a long shot!
hope this at least gives you some perspective.
Just a thought.