It does not sound like you are ready to date just yet. Having good friends help pass the time and one day you will be okay.

Yes there are good honest loyal women out there. I must say that I am one of them and I thinks most of us here in DS are seeking the same.

I hope to get over my mistrust for people and one day be okay to share my life again. NOT READY JUST YET.

I share in your pain and fears.

Allen, YES, there are women out there that are honest, loyal, caring, loving & family oriented. May I suggest that you start off with a "PLATONIC" relationship, going to dinner, coffee, movie, walks, mall, just do things together as FRIENDS. Something WILL happen when YOU LEAST EXPECT it... I know it's scary, but WHAT in LIFE is NOT scary???? Life itself is a big challenge & scary. Don't limit yourself.

My advice is not to start dating. You have got to take care of you before you are ready for anything else. If you start dating now you are going to have to deal with them pain of your divorce and if this relationship doesnt work out the pain of that. You have to work through the pain of the divorce first before you are available for any one else.

I am sure there are women out there who are honest, loyal , caring ,loving and family oriented. I am so I am sure there are others but right not that is not what you need. You will be ready someday and you should not rush into anything else because "people" tell you are ready. You will know when you are ready

I know I am not ready but, need thoughts on these fears when I come to this road. I just don't believe that there might be someone right for me in this world. If you know what I mean.

I so understand. I want to share my life but the hurt part of me is yelling "NO DON"T DO IT!!"

I don't know when/if I will be ready but I must believe that there is someone out there for me. I don't if I will that person within my lifetime.

I am praying for a good outcome for all of us.

I think when you are ready then you will take the chance on love again. When 2 human beings are involved there is no guarantee that it will work. But I think that you have to be prepared to take a chance and be prepared to fail. Just because you dont find the perfect person once doesnt mean there is not someone out there for you. Work through these feelings and the hurt and then worry about what will happen in the future.

it takes time. when you start to date dat to meet people, have fun, socialize. Not to marry the first person you date :) and yes there are plenty of wonderful loving women out there.. just like there are men... you'll find your perfect one in time good luck and peace

I think YOU have to feel ready to start dating, but when you do, its important to take your time, take it slow, enjoy the good feelings that come from it, but don't get carried away too quickly.

I think there are LOTS of good women out there though, mainly because there are tons of skummy men out there who leave them.

I feel the same way, opening up yourself again to another person. But that is what sharing you life with is all about. It's not about being tough, hard and closed off or the so called wall we surround ourselves with. It's about being able to expose your weaknesses freely and not being taken advantage of. Just my .02.

I have to agree with the others. It's way too soon for you to think about dating. You're trying to/ thinking about reconciling with your wife.

I think, for me anyway, I'll trust my heart again to someone by moving VERY slowly. Start off platonic and let the friendship grow and develop slowly and naturally. Then, I think, it won't be so scarey. It'll just feel like the next natural step. I believe things all work out in the end.

Maybe it is time, or will be time soon, to make a new life for yourself. But that new life should be about YOU. Not you and someone else.

We've been burned and that hurts, emotionally, physically and blasts our self esteem, confidence and trust. I think we need to just get to know ourselves first and be comfrotable with ourselves before we're a good companion and can give fully to anybody else. I know, I know, easy to say, harder to do.

moving on to me is getting a move on a new future. leaving behind the dreams of my life with my stbx and being open to whatever God has around the corner. dating is not something that needs to be hurried. if anything you will ruin any new relationship with your feelings being all over the place and may come off needy. i want to know i am strong by myself so i never settle for less.

I agree - I settled and I wont again, but we all need support and people to care for. You have to be careful and faithful at the same time. I believe you and I will find the right person or people to trust and love. You have to be strong for yourself to truly be strong for others.

I don't know how long you've been divorced & have read all of the responses here, but I highly recommend you wait until you feel comfortable. I also suggest that you look into
www.divorcecare.com
and
http://www.rebuilding.org/

Both of these are approx 12 weeks w/once a week sesssions. They both suggest that it takes a year for every 5 yrs you are married to recover emotionally. Both are highly reputable and you will more than likely find one or both being offered in near you.

There are lots of other things you can do to take your mind off of her. You need time to heal and to get back to being who you are first.

A very wise therapist once told me that one cannot successfully live with another person until one can successfully live with oneself.

((((hugs))))

Definitely take your time. I have been separated almost three months and recently started a new friendship. He knows what I have gone through, no details. And he doesn't expect too much and makes me laugh. It is too early for me to develop true feelings but hold on to the hope that someone will make you smile again. It was a true blessing to wake that next morning thinking about memories of someone besides STBX!! Best of luck!