
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I still get those brief thoughts that if I could have just handled things better, communicated more, been a better supper mom and wife. Why do I do that? My husband accepts no responsibility for our problems ...He maintains it's all my fault. He set me up so that his affair would be revealed in a timely mannor such that I would kick him out and he would be the martyr. And yet every now and again I go to that place where I should have worked harder on our marriage. Our marriage had huges stressors--sick kids, autism, moving, lost jobs,illness, and my husbands secretive porn addiction. I need a perspective so I stop thinking this. I did the best I could. I asked for counseling, I asked for help, I pooled resources. Still it was no good.
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I tried.
Please be gentle with yourself. You know that you did the best you could, and more than many would have done.
He is really the one with the problem (your husband) he is the one who betrayed your marriage, he made those choices and he already had one foot out the door by the time you found out.
You are an amazing person who has overcome many obstacles and survived and you will survive this too.
I wish too that my husband could have seen all my good qualities instead of focusing on my shortcomings, but I can only take responsibility for me. I tell myself he is the one missing out, and someday he will understand the gravity of his decisions. I was a good wife and a good mother, not perfect at all (but who is) and he knew I loved him what more can a man want. If that is not good enough for him then he should go and find his own way.
Maybe he did you a favor and you will find a beautiful love with someone down the road that will be more than you ever imagined possible. You deserve every happiness and I am sure you will get there. Right now forgive yourself and focus on today, what are you going to do today...one day at a time. What is done is done, you can only forgive and move forward. Remember forgiveness is the gift you give yourself. I have not forgiven my stbx yet, but I have forgiven me and it feels better inside. Hugs to you, hang in there.
The point being there are two things that matter at this point. One: You're still a great Mom to those angels. Two: He CHEATED on you, lied and betrayed you. There is NO way that you could save this with him acting the way that he is.
But there are other dreams out there. You did the best you could to make that dream work, but it didn't. If at first you don't sucede, go try again a different way!