I'm not sure there is a "good" divorce but some are more amicable than others.

no such thing..... but we do have a few of us who are going thru amicable splits. welcome.

My ex tries to tell me that he has lots of friends that have gone through a divorce that get along perfectly well and are bet friends. I probably took several years. I think there is almost always someone who gets hurt in a divorce. It affects everyone, not just the husband and wife. But kids, if there are any, parents, in-laws, grandparents. Even if there is a mutual agreement that the divorce is the best thing, it still hurts people, either emotionally or financially. I am one who knows the divorce was probably the best thing to do, but it still hurts so bad.

Well, it probably depends on which side of the settlement you are on...My stbx thinks that this is a darned Good Divorce.

Once I am out, and seeing a bit of stability, I will probably call it "Good" also.

We are not "Lawyered" up, at this point. We are working in Mediation. We are doing everything we can to Keep it There.

He makes me "crazy"-but that is no different than Normal Life was...and when I calm down, I realize that.

Hopefully, Someday, what looks Bad now, will become something that was for All of our Good.

I was told by my stbx that we were not using lawyers, however with the amount of money involved I will be using one for the separation agreement, it should only be $750. to $1000, small spuds when I think of all the money involved.
She wants to remain friends after. That is where I have a problem, after all the lack of respect for me she's shown.

The only ones that think there is a good divorce, are all the ex's or stbx of everyone here!

My wife and I talk everyday just like any best friends. I don't think it's healthy for me since I still love her (she wants to be alone), but I rather talk to her than be isolated. If we continue to a full divorce it will be amicable. I don't think there will be any conflict and right now I can't even think of having negative feelings towards her. Will it be a "Good" divorce? not for me! but it will be a no-conflict divorce for sure.

How in the hell can you have a good divorce? Someone will be hurt. My ex told me that she wanted to still talk to me, well it's been 4 months and not a peep. She hurt me more than she will ever know.

I think if two people can work togehter in the best interest of their children, as business partners, it's a good divorce. I thought the purpose of divorce was to STOP the fighting, not create more of it. Insanity it is, insanity . . .

3qtpiz, just because you are getting along, does that mean it is a good divorce? I don't think divorce is good at all. EVER It is breaking the sanctions of two people that had at one time vowed to spend the rest of their lives together. So if you are getting along, how is a breach of contract good?

Maybe defining a Good/Bad Divorce would be appropriate?

We may each be thinking of different issues.

My first Divorce spent years in court...custody issues. That was a Bad Divorce.

I don't want to See a Court Room-that would make this a Good Divorce, in my jumbled brain.

I don't want to fight over Who gets my old Mustang-I gave him the keys...I can't afford to restore it.

He keeps the businesses, I don't want to stay here.

Cut whatever isn't important to Not have to Fight anymore-to me that is worth anything.

Tami, that is what I would call a civil divorce. You are both being able to get along and not at each other's throats. Divorce is just not good.

Yes, Caru, that I will grant...Divorce is not good.

But, when you are handed one, you work with what you have. I want to be able to leave with my dignity this time.

If there is such a thing as a good divorce, I have it.

Even through infidelity on her part, we still love each other but could no longer remain married. We have kids together and they must at all times see a unified front when we are together. We argue much less, enjoy each others company, I got the house and the kids, she got the 401k (all of it.... kinda sore on that but oh well) and we pretty much see each other on a daily basis. Once I get past the money aspect of it, things will be great! Thank God for quick divorces!

Is there such a thing as a Good Divorce?...

if you mean the financial deals and the custody stuff.. I guess you can say I had a fair divorce... as I see it.

The judge suggested to me that I barter what little I had and mediate things.. so I did.

Yes, I do have the house, me and the 3 kids, but I now have a tenant, I declined spousal support, gave him my half of his pension and a bag of cash in the deal.

The kids wanted to live with me, so we have left it that way, little girls mind you - so I have primary custody. Their dad works shifts so that had to be considered.

We have joint guardianship and I can NOT move out of the specific region without us discussing it and probably going to court.
He can not leave the country with the children without my permission.

Basically he pays child support, sees the kids whenever he wants and I do let him take them away for weekends btw.
I do consult the children about plans and I do respect their wishes and try to find a balance.

the Death of a 26.5 year relationship can never be good.