i am having a bad day today. Grief, sadness lonliness, jealousy, resentment, loss. Having a hard time looling at the positives even though i know they are there. My heart is just aching over this. 3 weeks and it will be final. Yet i know it will not be final in my heart. I want to just snap myself out of this and go on in my life and know i deserve more and better. I am so afraid that i will continue on this path and not heal for a very long time. This scares me the most. I have been cleaning and straitening up the house and trying to keep busy. He is busy with her. They are happily spending the weekend doing whatever. I would have never guessed my marriage would come to this. Life i guess. Unless i can muster some way to move on totally i fear i will become one of those angry bitter women who always felt they were wronged. Today i do.
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