
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Okay, I can't go on any more bad dates or worse with people who I think will be a good match for me and they are not into me at all. Had this date last night I choose very carefully thinking we would hit it off and he did the "check please" before I was even done with my meal. He was okay looking and looked older than me with the exception that he was 4 years younger. He talked about himself mostly and never asked me anything about my stuff. He said goodbye before we even hit the door with this half hug thing, WTF? Whatever, dude! I've been on about 5 since my breakup in Jan. and I'm over it. This dating thing sucks. I don't know wtf to do at my age to meet anybody just to even start beings friends with and maybe seeing where it goes. I have a couple of girlfriends that are great to get together when I can. Their busy and I'm busy with kids, etc. I would like to just hang out at my home and have a BBQ and talk, get to know people but I don't know where to do that. Is that too much to ask for. How do I go about meeting people? I'm very sad today, and feel sad for my future, I don't want to be alone all my life and I know I just need to BE for today. Time to cultivate some friendships I guess.
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I think going the route of learning things you like to do as a single person, will attract you to a person who also may share similar traits. There's no timeline on dating nor is there a rule that says a date must consist of X, Y, or Z.
Enjoy the free time.
From what I can see, there is not much hope if you are looking to get married. It seems like most over 40 run from marraige, or even the talk of it. Maybe like very good friends is all you may find.
I know thats not the general image of what single life is, but thats the reality of it once you hit a certain age.
Divorce has taken its toll I think. Anyone with substance is not really looking to have it taken away again.
Thanks all for your feedback, I really appreciate it. This divorce and breakup stuff really messes with your head.
..but I'm not a believer in "it will just happen when you're not trying". That might have been true when we were all in our 20s, but here in the mid-40s, I think you just have to keep at it. In a focused, patient, deliberate way that does not involve giving up or quitting and hoping for a miracle. Miracles do happen, but who wants to count on that?
So, take a deep breath, understand that you'll have to be tougher than the competition (i.e., yep, there are some more bad dates ahead), and that even a so-so date that turns into a friendship will make it all worthwhile.
Stay engaged and don't let your wounded inner child make you a hermit. Get out there and continue to make lots of mistakes. My own credo:
"That which does not kill me....often almost kills me, and I'm sick of being almost killed."
That said, you can't stop trying. That is the death of hope. Don't get sucked into a comfortable life of risk aversion. I believe this falls into the "nothing ventured, nothing gained" category.
Keep a journal of the bad dates for a future book and movie that will make you famous. It could happen.
:)
Peace.
Hug
S
Prayers to you.