I just wanted to share part of day with you all - and let newbies know it does get better with time..and sometimes baby steps in my case:


wow -if I can accomplish what I have started without having a nervous breakdown-- I will be doing good today.. Have not worked out - but I will get there. I have gathered most of my son's old clothes to take to the resale shop and its kinda sad because I feel like I am just selling his memories. I try to keep a few single pieces of what I loved and store them and maybe let go someday or maybe show him when he is older-- maybe a mommy thing.. I tried to get the wedding dress out of the closet and felt a panic attack coming on.. and blew it off. Later started looking up resale shops and my hands were shaking and again blew it off... I WILL get this dress out of the house today.. Funny last nite I was actually thinking maybe do something with one of the rings - and felt so much anxiety-- why push all this at once!!! The anxiety is still here, just taking it slow- and breathing..I will run today and make it a good run even if I cant get rid of the dress- maybe I will atleast get it to my car..
well - the dress made it to my car. Before I had taken a shower - I had decided just one more time to take a look at it..as it has been covered. This is a non-traditional dress- more cocktail style - with spaghetti straps.. I looked at it and said "I just wonder".. and next thing you knew- I had it on. It felt weird, but funny - it was loose on me now- stress from the divorce. I took it off - and rehung it and jump into the shower to get ready. After I finished making sure everything was loaded in my car besides the dress- as it seemed I kept avoiding it. I went to grab it and I didnt want to send it away with bad memories. I laid the dress on my bed, hit my knees next to the bed, and prayed for the next person to have a wonderful experience, and thanked Him for the experience I had wearing this dress..
It took a while to find a place to get rid of it - most places werent looking for formals. The last place I went into I was emotionally exhausted because I felt like I was driving around with a dead body in my car. The owner came out and greeted me - a nice looking lady and she told that they only accepted 4 items- but when I explained my situation and how it has taken me a year to get this out of my house she took a look at it and agreed to take it on consignment. She asked me to fill out a form-- not really sure what it said - pretty sure something stating they would get 50% of profit if it sells within 60 days if not you can pick it up OR there was a check box that you could donate it to a charity. I checked it. She saw this and , she told me if it didnt sell it would go to the Cinderella Foundation.-- not back to me.. I had tears running down my face and she hugged me when I left the store..and I sat in my car and cried.. Its done.

Something I saw on the way home - on a billboard-

There are no shortcuts to life lessons.