Okay, so I am learning that this process is not as linear as I would have liked. Just as I moved into, what I thought to be, the "next" phase of healing- I totally feel like crap now. These are feelings that I experienced at the start of all this. Is it not suppose to get better with each passing day? I'm not sure how long this going to last or when it will hit me next and with what intensity. It is so difficult dealing with something that is so out of your control. I keep thinking I am getting better but all this hurt is laying right below the surface and once in awhile like a venting volcanoe comes out with a fury. Oh! How I long to deal with this pain and sadness in another way. I know it is all about the baby steps. What are the small things you all did to slowly bring some stability and joy back into your lives? It has been awhile since any joy has been around.