Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ok...so something a male friend said to me in a convo a few days ago kinda bothers me a bit.. so am posing this question to all of you..
Are looks important when making "friends?"
I thought friends were just friends.. and this only mattered when sizing up a prospective partner?
The convo kinda went like...
Male Friend: Well you know our Jane Doe is nice and all but c'mon.. I could never really be friends with her. (Jane Doe is a good friend of mine. Beautiful girl with a gigantic heart but is overweight-but I've never looked at her that way. I love her to death!!).
I was floored and couldn't believe what I had heard.. and Male friend and Jane Doe have known each other longer then they've known me.. What gives???
Are looks important when making "friends?"
I thought friends were just friends.. and this only mattered when sizing up a prospective partner?
The convo kinda went like...
Male Friend: Well you know our Jane Doe is nice and all but c'mon.. I could never really be friends with her. (Jane Doe is a good friend of mine. Beautiful girl with a gigantic heart but is overweight-but I've never looked at her that way. I love her to death!!).
I was floored and couldn't believe what I had heard.. and Male friend and Jane Doe have known each other longer then they've known me.. What gives???
-
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
-
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Talk to him about unattractive men and see if he answers similarly. I'll bet he doesn't. At the very least, his tolerance for unattractive men will be much higher than his tolerance for unattractive women.
My daughter and I used to watch a lot of food network, which was the only child friendly stuff I could stand to watch for a while.
She liked that sexy italian cook lady - Giatt? but not the Barefoot Contessa.
Why, I asked?
"Because she looks like a princess."
This freaked me out. I literally took this question to her counselor. She said: c-h-i-l-l - note the influences of media and society to her, but step back. She'll see your example.
So... I guess such shallowness makes sense ... ***when you are SIX years old***
So then.. I pose a second question to all the men..
I had an ex once say to me... men can never "just be friends" with a somewhat attractive female-unless they are gay.
There's always that hope that it will develop into more.. is that a true statement?
And is that what the Male friend is doing?
On some level, heterosexual men will always be acutely aware of how attractive his female friends are. Depending on the guy and depending on the level of friendship, that doesn't mean he's always going to ache to slip her the baloney pony, though. The circumstances might be such that the guy hardly ever thinks about it.
But yes, I think given the right set of circumstances (enough booze, general horniness, etc.), every guy will think of his female friends sexually. It's the way we're wired. I've imagined each and every one of you naked.
Especially you. Yes, you in the back.