Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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ATTN: Ladies

deleted_user
deleted_user
Whats the deal?
Aside from my standard court ordered visitations, my stbx hasn't allowed me to see the kids outside of these times no matter how many times I asked. Tomorrow we have a child support hearing. It just so happens she called me to watch our kids earlier tonight. Its like she knew I was not going to be able to. Is she up to something????
CanadianRose
CanadianRose
She wants to be able to say that you see the kids all the time...including last evening.

she wants to come across as an innocent in all this and deserving of monies.

hey...you are too busy to do her favours,you have court tommorow.

if you pay her chid support...then you have to make some demands....on visitation, and guaranteed holidays, ie Summer vacation, Xmas vacation, special days.
don't walk out of there without something.
Che2
Che2
She might be.

Keep asking to see the kids..hopefully she will get over whatever is keeping her from letting you have them.

I hate my ex..but I let him have the kids when he asks. Of course..it has only happened a few times.

Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
In most states child support has little to do with visitation. In the best interest of the children you have every right to visitation whether you pay child support or not. Child support is one thing. If possible have your attorney file a motion to modify the visitation arrangements. She should count herself lucky that her children have a father that wants to spend time with his kids. She's just being a butt. Even though you have visitation set up in your decree, that's only a "suggested minimum", if you will, that you are allowed. Sounds like she's trying to get at you by doing this, but she's only hurting the kids...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks, I assumed thats exactly how she will play this out in court tomorrow. Good luck to both of you..I will let you know how much she will get me for..This is being revisited bc the judge denied her alimony. I would never/never take away from my kids.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh man, you hit it right on the head. She is only hearting the kids. I always want them. She will use this one time it was impossible for me to have them against me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm not sure about NC....But in OK the child support guidelines/worksheets also take into consideration how much time is spent with the non-custodial parent, overnight stays etc...The less time spent with you the more for her money wise, maybe. I'm not sure how it's broken down in NC.

In some rare cases, I was told, you can be named as the custodial parent and still have to pay support to the non-custodial parent.
deleted_user
deleted_user
maybe to document that she has offered more time and you refused?
deleted_user
deleted_user
In addition to visitation just to be fair you should also take turns claiming the children on your tax returns. If she claims them this year, you claim them next year.
CanadianRose
CanadianRose
Just make sure you get something out of this....you don't want to go back to court for other matters...try and have your lawyer file for visitation..etc.

all the very best to you .
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