Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have just separated from my wife of 8 years and even though it was my decision, it was still the hardest thing i have ever done. Although i know it's the right thing to do, i never really want to go through anything like this again.
so i've been thinking a lot (it's unbelieveable how much time you have when you're alone and used to being with someone) about relationships and wondered.
The world is constantly evolving at a faster and faster pace, life seems to carry on at 1000 mph regardless of if we are keeping up, its all change, change, change, now, now, now, execpt with regards to
RELATIONSHIPS
It seems we are still stuck in the dark ages. how long have the "rules" of relationships and marriages been set for us? i don't know, but it's surely longer than even our great grandparents can remember.
I'm no historian but i imagine the "rules" are all based on some religion or another, yet even today people who are not the slightest bit religious follow them blindly without asking themselves why.
Why do we follow these rules that encourage us to stay in relationships that are no good for us, maybe we are suffering abuse from a partner, or not being able to grow to our full potential, or maybe we have just grown apart. I know i was at least 3 years late separating and that it was because i was married i stuck it out and tried very hard to make it work.
this is the 21st century, isn't it time we maybe started to look at relationships in relation to the world we live in?
A novel approach one might say would be an honest relationship... 2 people meet and there's a spark, they hit it off and decide to: stay together and help eachother grow and mature and exchange an equal amount of their time and energy with eachother, until they are no longer happy/getting an equal return on their investement, and their relationship has run its course.
There could then be a happy parting of ways with no spiteful/vicious fighting/divorcing with both parties leaving with much more than they had started with, and with nothing but good memories of the time they shared together and having grown far beyond the constraints they would have endured in "normal" relationship.
maybe i'm a hopeless optimist, i know for sure that i am deeply hurting. I would also never say that anyway someone conducts their relationships is right or wrong, but maybe there would be a lot more happiness if relationships (the one thing we all seek and desire) were happy, unconstraining periods of our lives.
If you're still awake, thank you for reading, i would love to hear your views.
so i've been thinking a lot (it's unbelieveable how much time you have when you're alone and used to being with someone) about relationships and wondered.
The world is constantly evolving at a faster and faster pace, life seems to carry on at 1000 mph regardless of if we are keeping up, its all change, change, change, now, now, now, execpt with regards to
RELATIONSHIPS
It seems we are still stuck in the dark ages. how long have the "rules" of relationships and marriages been set for us? i don't know, but it's surely longer than even our great grandparents can remember.
I'm no historian but i imagine the "rules" are all based on some religion or another, yet even today people who are not the slightest bit religious follow them blindly without asking themselves why.
Why do we follow these rules that encourage us to stay in relationships that are no good for us, maybe we are suffering abuse from a partner, or not being able to grow to our full potential, or maybe we have just grown apart. I know i was at least 3 years late separating and that it was because i was married i stuck it out and tried very hard to make it work.
this is the 21st century, isn't it time we maybe started to look at relationships in relation to the world we live in?
A novel approach one might say would be an honest relationship... 2 people meet and there's a spark, they hit it off and decide to: stay together and help eachother grow and mature and exchange an equal amount of their time and energy with eachother, until they are no longer happy/getting an equal return on their investement, and their relationship has run its course.
There could then be a happy parting of ways with no spiteful/vicious fighting/divorcing with both parties leaving with much more than they had started with, and with nothing but good memories of the time they shared together and having grown far beyond the constraints they would have endured in "normal" relationship.
maybe i'm a hopeless optimist, i know for sure that i am deeply hurting. I would also never say that anyway someone conducts their relationships is right or wrong, but maybe there would be a lot more happiness if relationships (the one thing we all seek and desire) were happy, unconstraining periods of our lives.
If you're still awake, thank you for reading, i would love to hear your views.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I still believe in His promises of Blessings and Judgements.
This is not something that I can just Stop believing in, and I won't.
We are Not Animals. We have eternal souls and are preprogrammed to Love. Those who can go from partner to partner have Killed that part of their soul.
Marriage used to be a institution of the ultimate commitment. Just because we live in a high paced world doesn't necessarily mean that something as sacred as marriage should be too. Somewhere the meaning of dedication got lost like a prom dress in the backseat. It actually sickens me.
thanks for listening
Thank you for the post.
Married in the church,
and
civil marraige.
They usually take place at the same time.
I am torn apart at how civil marraige has turned into a joke with its no fault divorce laws.
Since seperation of church and state wont be changed...how about seperating marraige from the laws to make the seperation complete?
We could still get married in Gods church, and the game players can go &#^%$ themselves.
There could then be a happy parting of ways with no spiteful/vicious fighting/divorcing with both parties leaving with much more than they had started with, and with nothing but good memories of the time they shared together and having grown far beyond the constraints they would have endured in "normal" relationship. "
YES! That's it!
On the other hand, when children are involved, the complexity of supporting the children of the marriage becomes a real contractual issue.
I believe that marriage should be a 20-year contract, renewable by mutual consent in 10-year addendums thereafter.
In an ideal world, there would be two kinds of marriage. For those who believe in a sacramental marriage, there would be a "permanent" marriage, sealed by their religion of choice and by the government as an irrevocable contract. Then there would be a "civil committment" level as I described above, that could be between any two consenting adults.
It is nice to think that two people, given enough time, can eventually work it all out. Unfortunately this does not take into account the ravages on personality and cognition caused by drugs, alcohol, mental illnesses, or brain injuries. If you have two whole intellects working, you probably can work it out. But when one is damaged beyond repair...you just have no idea.