I've had a crush on a guy from work for about 2 months now. Hell, maybe it's a little more than a crush if I'm writing about it here. I've been through a nauseating amount of emotions this past month. Happy, sad, happy, sad, happy, sad. Does he like me? No, he can't. Does he like me? Maybe. Does he like me? No, there's not enough signs.
Driving myself crazy until I finally message him and tell him. Turns out he felt the same, however we both knew he was moving states extremely soon. We talk on the phone for 2 hours, text a bit and then he invites me over and we just hangout all night watching Netflix. I was head over heels ecstatic. I really felt something for him and it REALLY takes a special guy to do that for me. I've only been with 2 guys...and i'm 25. I thought him inviting me over was him inviting me to a relationship. I mean, why else would he? Nope. He doesn't want a relationship, he needs to focus on himself especially since he wants to attend medical school (aprox. 12 years). I keep hearing from my coworkers that he's got multiple girls from his hometown texting him and sending him half naked pictures to him. Why? Why do guys have to do this? Why would he play with my feelings like this? What does he gain? Now after I accused him of being in a relationship when he wasn't, he hasn't talked to me. I know, why the hell does it matter? He's moving, you'll never see him again.
It matters because it just hurts. I've been so bothered by this, it's what I think about day and night. I need serious help because if someone can have this much of an effect on me, I can't imagine what another could do. I want to move on from him so bad, but I'm just so bothered (and jealous) by him moving on to a seemingly better life and I can't be a part of it.
I’ve been having this obsessive thought for over a week now of being back in high school in art class. The thought is of me running an exacting knife across my wrist. Not meaning to cut or harm myself, just kinda playing with it. Only I never ever did that at all. But the thought occurs obsessively throughout the day. And the thought is making me want to cut. I feel like the thought won’t go...
Honestly I feel like shit .i had a good day at work and despite that I still feel my head spiraling to really bad thoughts/ ideas .i know I should be able to handle waiting to see my therapist on the 4th but it just seems way to far away .thats so many work days and so many days to choose if I take my medicine or not :( I’m just scared sorry for the rant just feel terrible plus I keep wripping...