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anyone dreading the holidays?

deleted_user
deleted_user
This will be the first holidays we haven't spent together as a family.
One, our son is moving out of state, he won't be home at all, then of course the rest of my family won't be spending this time together. My daughter told me my stbx bought plane tickets for them to go to his sisters for Thanksgiving, never asked me if I had plans...funny thing is I always made the plans for the holidays....anyway, I just said ok, but we (my daughter and I) are going to my hometown for Christmas. But, I just can't imagine even Thanksgiving without my family. My Mom is planning on coming down here, but its still not the same, and I am already dreading it. Even though I did most of the cooking, I just keep thinking about his "specialities" he would make and wonder if he will even miss me being there....okay having a pity party here, need to get over it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes I am dreading the holidays, this will be the first holidays I will have spent alone in my adult life. I always had a man in my life. If I do spend it with family it will be my mom who is dying of terminal cancer. So I am hit with it from both angles.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I, too am dreading the holidays this year. For the last 4 years, I have spent the holidays with H's family. I have NO family here in TX. I have seen my family once since I moved here in 2004, which was just in July of this year. This year, I won't have ANY of my 3 kids here. It will just be him & our dogs. It's going to be SO hard getting up Christmas Morning & not seeing the kids' faces etc. My son wants to come down for Christmas, but I can't afford to get him down here, so that's not an option either. It's really going to suck. Hey, SP, Christmas Eve is my birthday, WE ALL can celebrate my 40th together on DS! LMAO
JennyN
JennyN
I am so dreading the holidays this year. First year without my husband and without my mom....gonna be TOUGH! All I have to say is there better some DS shoulders on line for me to cry cry CRY on!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm not dreading them, but I know it will not be the same for me. We separated just before Christmas last year, so this will be my second christmas alone. I will have family around, but its not the same. That is life though. I've been through it before so I guess I don't expect much more at this time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Holidays are for family.. my ass. Hows that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i dont know if dreading is the word,, cuz i love seeing my family, but i'm worried and kinda upset
my stbx took me off of the bank acct, so i cant exactly go buy presents... plus we're pretty broke this year.. he's gotta pay like 4$350 for a pilot's test,, the month of both our kids' birthdays.. so i'm gonna have to do like a slumber party for my oldest (8) in my tiny duplex that i'll be embarassed about.. and just being annoyed by being with his family for the holidays.. yuck :
deleted_user
deleted_user
I dread because I'm going home to my family. I just wanted to spend a few days and because I didn't get my ticket last year I have to leave sooner than I wanted, leaving me there for a week. I'll get to see the stbx..that should be interesting. He should be getting the divorce papers next week.
K9Linda
K9Linda
I've dreaded the holidays every year we've been together/married. Both of our families are in different states (too far to drive in one day)and so I have no one to share the holidays with. My stbx says that holidays are just another day and their stupid because people spend too much money just for those days. He only bought me X-mas presents twice in our entire 17 years together. Once was right after I found out about his affair and the other was when his sister instigated it. I used to put up a X-mas tree, lights, etc. every year as well as bought him presents every year. Stopped doing that a couple of years ago because it was just too depressing for me to continue doing it.

Maybe we should have a DS holiday on-line! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
With any luck I'll be working.
CanadianRose
CanadianRose
Okay.. I am divorced now.. and GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR not rid of him grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I am going to stand my ground... I want the kids with me this Christmas. End of story.

He gets them practically all holidays.. my way of being a good sport...and I have to be selfish now.. he likes to screw with my mind and say things like.. But.. I told you we were are going away.. But.. we discussed this and you agreed...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I am no longer afraid to be selfish.

I remember that first Christmas without him... all the wine.. and the crying.. for hours in front of the fireplace in the dark.. crying after the kids went to sleep.
I refuse to go back to those dark moments.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This will be my second set of holidays alone...it does get easier. It may not be the situation I would have chosen, but I've adapted, and even look at the positive side. Things are less stressful not having to clean,bake,entertain and worry about buying all those gifts. I am actually enjoying the peace and relaxation. I don't want to spend the holidays alone forever, but after the stresses of the marriage falling apart, and the divorce, it is a bit of reprieve taking an essential mental and physical break and relaxing without pressures.
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