I am also dreading the holidays and have no idea how the kids are going to see everyone. It was difficult back when stbx and I were together - his mother was alone, we saw my parents separately since they're divorced, I have 3 siblings.

His mother was shocked when she wasn't invited over for our son's birthday. What is she still expecting during the holidays?

It will be an adjustment and I'm determined the kids won't be upset by the plans. No matter what I'm still thankful I am not with him anymore.

I dread them in a way. I will be home this time and that is something that doesn't usually happen because my husband is Military and we rarely went home. Now, I can enjoy spending the holidays with the ones who TRULY love me. However, I will miss my husband being by my side...yes. The fact that this is all happening right before the holidays kills me.

I try to think that way - I am better off - just after 23 years of holidays its hard. I always made a big deal out of the holidays, he never cared - other than the Christmas lights - we still have to go through all the decorations we have - then Our daughters birthday is right after the holidays so that will be another obstacle - I am a big party person for birthdays too and have always had a big party for my kids - so it will be hard - I don't have the room to have a big party so don't know what we will do. I will make it through somehow though and it will be worth it to be relieved of him.

Actually I'm NOT dreading the holidays. Last year was so bad, I was stuck in Chicago by myself while the ex flew off to be with his family...none of whom had the decency to even send me a card (even though we were still together). Now I'm out in Colorado, my son will be in the vacinity ...even if he has to work..and my grand daughter. Even if I spend the actual day alone..it's OK. I'm in MY own place now...I'll put my tree up, decorate it and enjoy myself..even if I do nothing more than put my feet up, watch TV and eat a frozen pizza!

Last year we didn't do christmas. stbx didn't want to.

Then a rescue pup died that afternoon...

I don't think that I can top the misery this year. My daughter is thinking about flying out-providing I am finally moved.

If not, I watch old movies in peace and quiet and hug my dogs. It will be calm.

I went through that last year. Everything this year was the 2nd time through. 23 years of Going where the Calendar says, and then Nothing.

Sure was different. I was dreading being with all those people so often, every holiday, every birthday, every graduation, every anniversary, funerals, births, marriages, divorces, remarriages, the small family and friends grew exponentially over the years and it was no longer much fun anyway.

So I've been enjoying "My first xxx day alone", and this year, "My second xxx"

But this year has been awesome.

I am scared %%#@#less. Just had my first Thanksgiving w/o him. It was so sad. Don't know how I'm gonna survive

Last year was my first. I always do the cooking and the Holidays are at my house. Still are but last year after dinner everyone helped me decorate for Christmas ( guys were already here and I needed help with the tree and the attic stuff). Going to do the same thing this year. A new tradition. The plus for them..they were still here at supper time so I had to feed them again :)

not a pity party. Last year was the 1st holiday I was without the ex. It was real hard. I am sort of feeling off about this year as well.

I think we all wonder if they will be thinking about us. I am sure if we are thinking about them, they are thinking about what we are doing as well.

I am sorry you are going to have to go through it. Focus on who you are with and share new thanks for what you have now. Easier said then done I am sure.

right there with you my friends. I am thinking about helping out by serving thanksgiving dinner to the needy. Might help me to feel like I am doing something.

holidays are tough especially if it is the other parents holiday. i am female so i would fix dinner and invite over everysingle friend i had.
the men show up eat leave and go to the next house. at least you werent totally alone.

i try not to think about the holidays. we already have all the "details" worked out concerning our son and who gets him when.
other than that gonna have to tough it out i guess. i do have a backup plan though something to the effect of a couple of sedatives and a bottle of vodka. :) hopefully i can just wake up sometime after jan. 1st and go from there.

No. Even though my wedding anniversary is Christmas Eve, I made plans to fly with my sister to spend it with our mother. Last year, he walked out on me 2 weeks after it. Er, followed by 3 more times. Enough!

I'm kind of looking forward to Christmas without the stbx. I am surrounded by his family but as far as I know he doesn't plan to be around. Of course I am the last to know if he changes his mind. Regardless, the kids and I will spend Christmas how we want to! Now that I think about it I am excited.

I don't know that I am dreading the holidays as much as I am just confused at what it is going to be like. I mean basically since I was 15 less a one or two years I was in the Army, we spent thanks giving at her Mom's. and Christmas involved visits to or from everyone. That was 20 years worth of holidays. I just wonder if I will se her parents if they will even acknowledge me with a card or anything like that or if they are just going to completely cut ties with me. I get the kids tuesday and Thursday nights, so I will have them Thanksgiving night and Christmas night. I guess I will go to my mom's for thanksgiving for the first time in forever. Then pick up the kids after the meal. We used to go for our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving at the tree farm too. I think I am going to go back to the artificial tree at least for this year. Then I have to take into consideration that I have the house for sale and could potentially move before the holidays. Ok now 'm starting to stress about it.