Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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deleted_user 11/27/2007

My imagination keeps running wild and I get pictures in my head of my stbx having sex with the OM. Sleeping and the thought of sex have not been easy, they have both been tainted for me for the moment.

Any ideas on how to get some of these thoughts off the brain. Relief comes and goes some days are better than others. It's wierd because I never kow what will trigger the thoughts, a love song, people talking about sex.....it could be anything.

I feel the only way I will get over it is to have a meaningful connecton with another woman but I am nowhere near ready to connect with anyone that way. I need to take time to heal myself first so that I can grow a meaningful connection when I find one.

LarryLDN 11/27/2007

that's a tough one

deleted_user 11/27/2007

I know. I stay postive and do what I need to do to function... but like everyone here the mental and emotional aspect of whats going on is the hardest part. I am working through it, but I want my thoughts back.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

Time. I hated it when people told me that but it's true. In time the pain will leave.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

At least you know what you want....and that is wonderful. So many of us are bitter/scared/weary or whatever to even think about ever getting involved with anyone again. I recently started dating, and it did not go well at all, but I'm glad I put myself out there. Keep working on healing yuorself so that when you do get involved again, some over your emotional baggage can be left at the door.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

Time and ptience with yourself would be my advice my friend. It's hard when the person we love moves on so quickly... it hurts us to our core

deleted_user 11/27/2007

acceptance....of the fact it is over

deleted_user 11/27/2007

do not think that to get rid of the thoughts about their sex you have to have your own sex - it is wrong. what you need to try to do is - to allow yourself a "break" from this idea. say to yourself: I will have best sex ever with the perfect partner as soon as I will change myself to be different then I used to be with my ex. concentrate on changes inside you, not changes in partners. once you're satisfied with the new you emerged from this challenge. yes, you do need to heal, but you need to heal through CHANGE. the old you should go for good.

deleted_user 11/27/2007

I agree that I need to change myself. That's why I am not rushing into a relationship. Physical sex without an emotional connection doesn't solve the problem either.

I was just wondering what some people did not to think about their STBX's before they foud a new love interest.

ChiTownBear 11/27/2007

I am reading this thread as I am wondering as well.

Sorry I have nothing for you right now. Hopefully one day I will learn how and then can help someone like you then.

I wish you the best

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