don't be embarrassed we know how it is. it takes a year here as well. i begged and begged and she was living with someone else. It'll get there. who knows if he'll have a change of heart. you need to move on and live your life like you are without hoping he will. If he doesn't then you may feel like that 9-10 months were just wasted with you waiting for him. I'm not saying dating, but fix some of the things you may not like about yourself and who knows he might see those changes and that might help him come back. Who knows.

Alex31, I've been in your shoes and I realize how "smack in the face" it is to have someone you thought would love you forever say its over. My question to you is---do you really want to be with a man (and try to trust him again) who just gave up on you?? Also, NO MAN is worth begging to stay (though I did that too until I came to my senses). You are a great woman who deserves to be loved AND RESPECTED.

I honestly don't know. I have heard of people getting back together after being separated for a while, or even after the divorce goes through.

But I think it really depends on the people involved, and also WHY he left in the first place. Is there another woman involved?

In my case, I am 99.999999% sure that he will NEVER have a change of heart. And the longer I'm away from him, the more I realize how bad our relationship really was.

Either way, I think that leaving him alone and not begging and pleading is the right thing to do. I think begging and pleading would only tend to push him further away.

I hope things turn out the way you want, but I'd also advise you to start building a life for YOU. If he comes back, great, that would be icing on the cake. But if he doesn't, then you'll be stronger and able to live on your own.

I agree with the previous poster. Since separating from H, I have been doing things I didn't do while together. I am focusing on ME and finding out who I am and what I like. I kept hoping my H would change his mind as well. However, I realize that is not likely. Actually, may be he did me a favor.

DO NOT contact him for THREE months. Take that time, reflect, ponder your marriage and YOUR happiness, ask yourself if you want to be married to him or you just want to be married. Ask yourself if you have accomplished what you want in life thus far, has he held you back, is there more you want but it is not possible with him? REALLY THINK FOR 3 MONTHS NO CONTACT(including no talking about him, looking at pics of him, if you think of him have a friend or a plan like immediatly log on line and post a random fun question of the day)


After 3 months have gone by, see him, talk to him and after that go home and ponder "Was he as wonderful as you built him up to be?" "Do you miss him or miss having a man around?" "Do you really love him". You may still be head over heals but in my past experience with a serious bf of 2yrs, I found after 3 months all I could think was "What was I thinking??!!"

You need to focus on you and ask yourself the HARD questions about your marriage after you see him in 3 months.

Just saying this may give you perspective. Hope this helped!

Ask him to go to counseling. Even if you do get the divorce, you both need to gain closure in order to move on in a healthy way. If he refuses, then that tells you something too.

There are books out there about saving the marriage if you are interested. I have no idea how effective they might be, but something to look at.

Thanks for all the comments. I really appreciate it. BERT, I HAVE those books on saving a marriage, but my situation is a little late.....