Even though I did not want this divorce I am going have understanding and closure and no regrets when this ends. From talking to lots of people I get so much input. I know that I did contribute to this break down but I was only the half of it. I have accepted my faults and have learned from them and will be more aware of not repeating them next time. I have learned that at some point in my marriage that I stopped being true to myself and tried to conform to her wants and needs without fully understanding why she felt the way she did and she didnt try to understand what I was feeling. I did not allow my mind to open and became too comfortable. She began seeing me as if I didnt care when in fact I loved her so deeply. Though I am really hurting how the outcome came I am not angry at her I just hurt because she is with another. I never got a grasp on the I love you but I am not in love with you but as I talk to all sorts of people about this I begin to understand it a little more. This just doesnt happen right away it is something that happens over time. As time passes by resentment builds and builds on both sides, while one sees it one way the other sees it another way. Trying to get back on the same page is almost impossible. We all hurt because it is so personal, we take it personal we dont see through all the hurt and pain, we dont try to understand because it seems like it just doesnt make sense. It is what you learn and how you handle that adds another piece of the puzzle to your life. Soon there will be the time when all the pieces fall into place and you can see your life and what it is meant to be. I will always hold a place in my heart for my wife, it will not burn as brightly as before and I will miss what we once had and I will always wonder if we would have just stopped being so stubborn and took the time to set aside all our past issues and really give it a try that maybe we could have had a stronger marriage. But life cant be lived on what ifs, could haves or should haves life and love is about here and now. So in closing I hope you all really take a good hard look at yourselves and seek to find what makes you, you and not try to force somebody to see you when they cant or won't.
Maybe someday they will see you and will know in their minds that they could not come to that realization until they realized something in themselves and if the timing is right and the planets are aligned and that magic happens you will know after all if you were right meant to be. Just dont rush your life take the time for yourself. Do all your hurting, do all your crying but know that life will be waiting for you when you are ready.
Thank you all.