I was not married in a church and my mother brought this up to me-- and she said I could have this done, and fill out my portion of docs and then - it wuod be sent to him.. I think he would blow it off. If he does, he would be considered the sinner, and it would be granted. (If I remember correctly) I am not active member in the Catholic church - but my mother is..It has crossed my mind.. but I havent done it.

I have thought about it. In my diocese it takes from 6 to 18 months. If you remarry it is neccessary. If you remain single it is not. I know I will not remarry on a moments notice, so if I decide to marry I will start the annulment process then.

I was thinking that too, but then I looked at the paperwork you have to complete. Basically you have to relive it ALL and justify why the person wasn't who you thought he/she was and explain why it didn't work. I don't think years from now, when I've finally healed from this (I hope) I'm going to want to relive this again. That's why I'm thinking of doing it now...

If you have reviewed the grounds set forth by canon law and see that your 'marriage' clearly meets one or more of them, then you are entitled to an annulment and should have one. I understand completely why you would want one.

I just read your second remark. You will need to have a clear case. John Paul II cracked down on annulments in the US and Benedict will surely be of the same mind, at least. If your case clearly meets the ground, you should not have to go into a life history.

As time passes it will take less and less sentences to explain. That is my opinion. When asked by my priest if I wanted to get it going I said: "Well, its kind of an insurance policy so I dont do anything to quickly." He understood me, and we both laughed a little.

From what the priest told me, there are 3 reasons - two don't usually apply these days (married too young, like 12-14 or mistaken identity, wrong person under the veil). The last is that basically it never should've happened and you have to prove why. At least that's what I took from it - you're right though. I should google it and read up on it - thanks for the suggestion!

Thats a tough one. Churches just like people all have there opinion and there own beliefs. How do you decide which one to go with? It's your life, you live it the way you think is best for you. Don't you think your God will understand?

LOL - Zoot!

JungleJoe - you really got to the heart of the matter for me. Yes, my God would understand. But at the same time it hurts a little to think of a day when I may have to explain to my daughter why my marriage is not accepted by the church. I'm struggling with whether it's something I want for me or not...

Yes, well, he is summarizing a bit. As with all legal proceedings, it is better if your facts line up with the law, in this case The Code of Canon Law, Title VII, Marriage, canons 1055-1165 provide numerous grounds for the invalidity of an attempted marriage. It is better to argue specifically to those if you have the facts to match.

If your children are by this man, you may want to bear in mind that your children will have to accept that your marriage to their father essentially never existed. That might be more potent than what they think of your marriage in future. But if it's true, it's true.

I am planning on an annulment when all is said and done (as you have to be finalized in the eyes of the law first)

Although we did not get married in church my religion is very important to me. It was one of the main reasons I hung on for so long as I knew it was considered unacceptable. I still agree that divorce is wrong, BUT cannot put myself or my child in harms way any longer- physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

Anulmetns are not just granted to anyone that asks. There must be reasonable,extentuating circumstances that will provide proof that the marriage should not have taken place to begin with.

i do not believe that children as the product of the marriage would view the marriage itself as non-existent. I believe it would be up to the parent to explain the holiness of the covenant itself and use that as a teachable moment. I will cross that bridge when i cometo it,but my child is being raised Catholic and WILL have those values and beliefs.

namaster,
If you were not married in the catholic church how can they grant an annulment for a marriage that they don't even recognize?
It's my understanding that annulments are only for catholics married in the church.

That's not true! I am catholic, was married outside the Church. Before I could be married in the church I had to get an annulment. The crack down that JPII set in place usually disallows anyone with children from the marriage from obtaining one.

I said usually because there are a limited set of circumstances that do allow it (bigamy being one).

thanks for the info courier...what happens if first marriage was in the church never annuled second marriage was civil..do you have to get two annulment to come clean with the church??
thanks