Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ok, its been about 5 weeks since my wife gave me the news. In the begining i was very sad, i begged her to change her mind. I didnt sleep,eat or could i foucus on anything. This is the love of my life and could not imagine life being any other way. Now 5 weeks later, i have gone from begging and crying, to only talking to her when she ask a question and the answer is short and to the point. I dont call, text or email her unless information needs to shared. When she is not on the road for work and is at home we simply just ignore each other for the most part. I'm having trouble with the emotions i am feeling right now. A few weeks ago my heart was broken and willing to do anything to make it right. Everyday that goes by now it seems i get more frustrated with her reasons for wanting to leave which i still do not understand. I dont understand how i could love someone so much and at the same time i feel like saying F@#K YOU! And just walk away. I really think i would if we did not have kids. I feel that if she really feels this way why should I put myself through hell for someone that may never change their mind about me? Is this normal to feel this way? Is it just one of the stages you go through? And if so what comes next? I refuse to beg or cry for her to change her mind anymore. Its easier for me to pissed off about the situation than to care. I blame her for not having feelings towards me, am i just as bad for feeling how i do now? I know deep down I really do love her and want to make it work, but I really wonder if its worth all the pain that im going through. Any advice would be helpful as always.....sorry if i didnt get my point across clearly. I just have a million things going through my mind at all times and i could write page after page on our situation. Take Care All, and thanks again for your support!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Hugs to you
Glad to hear you are limiting contact. Apparently that is the best thing to do if there is any hope of reconciliation. The begging and crying only pushes them further away. ( I have done that for three months straight, sigh)
The same thing happened to me. One Sunday morning in September she sat up in bed and told me that she didn't love me any more and wanted a divorce, almost as calmly as someone asking for a cup of tea.
No reason given. I believe that there is no other man, nor has she 'connected with herself' and discovered that she is lesbian. No drama, no histrionics, just no more "I love you's".
You and I are 'dumpee's' (apparently, it is not some obscure Indian currency). My stbx will be 47 in December.
What techniques are you using to focus? You are right, 1 million+ thoughts cannot be managed effectively. I have stopped those thoughts. But it is hard.
Strange how someone else is in the same position as me. I know how you feel, and how these times will test your character but for me, I know that I am stronger now. I recommend moving out as soon as possible.
I was with her today; she has been marvelous helping me with my surgery, driving me to the hospital bringing back, getting food for me since I am crutches. She has gone back to her place and I feel a certain tranquility, and even though just a few weeks ago I would have taken her back, she is just another friend now. I can look at her and not 'feel' as Iused to.
The short replies that you give your stbx are familiar to me. I guess that it is normal. I did tell her at one time that I did not mean to be intentionally rude with my terse replies, but that I am recalibrating how I communicate with her but the old recalibration pendulum is still swinging around its new position so if she would be patient, I will be able to have conversations with her where I don't cry, I don't get mad, and I will be able to edit all utterances to remove anything nasty or spiteful.
I wish you all the very best, my suffering kin, all the very best.
Just went through this myself. Annouced 5 weeks ago, he was leaving. Tried everything, then just let it be. I could have written your post. stbx, finally moved you this weekend and I was devasted and cried all weekend. Now, 4 days later, I'm like a new woman, not to say there still won't be pain, but I feel like the world has been lifted off my shoulder. Not to say, I'm now happen, but the tense of living in the environment is so awful. I'm sorry for you, I know and feel your pain.