I thought I had moved on, then I got said again. Now I'm so angry if he was in front of me, I could easily just rip out his eyeballs..I'm doing the really nasty texting, like really nasty.. 2 Days ago he came over talked a little had a little laugh and thought I was over him again, we can be friends. Everything was civil, we agreed and compromised well on our son. We helped each other out when needed and still cared..But today I could just want him dead. I've made plans to see a solicitor to make permanant plans in place with my son, which will restrict him alot from seeing him. My son will suffer for this, I know that. I'm going to make sure I get all I can from him, and I dediced my purpose in life is to make his life hell forever until he dies a young painful lonely death. Now that I'm starting to feel bad, and feel sad again, I know I went too far, and said unforgivable things. I think it's not reversable and he wont be civil with me anymore either, I don't know. Coz I've done this before and he just took it knowing I was just angry for now, and never said a mean word to me. He still hasn't. I'm so lost, at the same time I want him to suffer coz there's no use in trying to get him back, coz he's not. But then I want him as a friend and be able to laugh together, coz we were best friends. I don't know what his next move now and I feel I have to do everything I said I would because he will now be doing everything he can to stop things from happening...This is crazy, just crazy..I've never felt like this before. I didn't know it was this bad. I'm so hurt that I want him to feel 10 times more hurt, and at the same time I'm crying coz I want him back in my life..I'm nuts aren't I.
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