Ive been divorced for two months now and am surprised at the anger I still feel. Tonight I was reading over a DS posters profile and became so angry. This poor woman had a spouse that left her after a near fatal car accident brought on medical bills and health problems. Hes taken a new love interest and they are not divorced yet. My ex, like many others here, left me for someone else. In both cases the family and children have been tossed to the side. Reading that profile and seeing how one spouse just abandoned his vows got me to thinking about marital vows and the more I thought the more pissed I became. This is my rant, those who are part of marriages that ended due to a mutual break up are not targeted in this rant, they at least were able to work together to end the union, just as they worked together to begin it. My rant is aimed at the selfish ones who thought their wants somehow gave them an excuse to abandon their vows with no regard to their spouse.

First Id like to share the definitions of the following three words, courtesy of www.websters.com :

Vow: a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment

Temporary: lasting, existing, serving, or effective for a time only; not permanent

Ambiguity: doubtfulness or uncertainty of meaning or intention

Second, here is a sample and somewhat traditional vow:


"Will you, _______, have _____ to be your wife/husband? Will you love her/him, comfort and keep her/him, and forsaking all other remain true to him/her as long as you both shall live?" ("I will")

(Repeat) "I, ________, take thee ______, to be my wife/husband, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful and true wife/husband."

(Rings) "With this ring I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow. In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, 'til death do us part."


Where the hell is the ambiguity, does anyone take their vows with "temporary" in mind? Actually I guess some do. Ill bet most of us that believed our vows and held them dear heard/read/stated such a vow with conviction and full understanding of what the vow both meant and the consequences of such a vow. Here is what I think the cheaters, liars, and users must have understood those same words to mean:

"Will you, _______, have _____ to be your wife/husband? Will you expect her/him to love you and respect you, comfort and keep you, and forsake all others remaining true to you. While you are free to explore your options, disrespect him/her, indulge your wants at his/her expense, and should you develop an attraction for someone else be free to indulge that feeling and at your discretion forsake your spouse " ("I will")

(Repeat) "I, ________, take thee ______, to be my wife/husband, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful as long as I want and until someone better comes along, or until I grow tired, or just say screw it I want out.."

(Rings) "With this ring I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow. In my sickness not yours and in health, in my poverty not yours or in my wealth which shall remain mine and your wealth which Im entitled to, 'til I die or want something new and maybe younger."

Why the heck do such people, those that subscribe to the amended vows, even get married? They want the look and feel of a committed marriage with out the true commitment. I wonder if they like vinly seats over leather seats and wood veneer furniture over real wood furniture. I left the B&D community when my divorce was over, I had to rejoin to post this, because I get angry every time I read of some spouse that just thumbs his/her nose at their spouse and in the most hurtful and harmful ways breaks up a family. While I would never wish anyone go to hell should those that subscribe to the second set of vows find themselves there of there own accord and actions I do hope the section they occupy is a little hotter and a little lonelier than the rest of the place.

Again, this rant is only aimed at the selfish home wreckers, not at those who ended their marriage for different and unselfish reasons and pursuits.