wish I did not feel so guilty about leaving... why do I feel guilty? Because I stayed in hopes I could forgive and forget? I should have left in Feb when the shit hit the fan... but I stayed till August and then kept things alive long distance... it's not my fault he tried to buy me with diamonds and other gifts ... the betrayal doesn't go away. I don't look at him the same way, I don't trust him and I am not attracted to him because I don't know what he does when my back is turned. He did this to his last wife of 14 years and then blames her to me.... I spoke with her and I knw the truth is somewhere in the middle.... the Ed doesn't help I am 35 years old.... in the 4 years together we never has intercourse... isn't that strange? Odd? dysfunctional... yet he says no ED problem????????? So what it's me? No I played that game for 2 of those years thinking it was all my fault, not hot enough whatever... not true. That is indirect mental abuse in my book right?
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