*sigh* Okay, I'm having all sorts of emotions right now and I would love some opinions on this. First of all, I posted a discussion called "He dropped another bomb", so if you haven't read that one, please do so you may have a better understanding of the situation. A brief recap...my husband told me last Monday that he wants to "work things out", but has seemed a little distant since then. Well, we spent almost the entire weekend together (family reunion, fishing trip, etc.) and things seemed pretty normal. Had a good time, not much tension at all. Well, this evening, he gave me some checks to pay the bills with and I had to ask something. I have recently been trying to find my own apartment, and when he told me he wanted to work things out Monday, he said there was no need to find another place to live because it was no longer a matter of "if" he was coming home, just "when". Well, after feeling somewhat unsure of things this week, I asked him this evening if I still need to be looking for a place to live. He said no, that I could keep the house and he would continue to pay the rent. Then, if we get divorced, we'll decide what to do then. That bothered me, because last Monday, it seemed as if he had ever intention of coming home in the future. When I commented on this, he said that he didn't mean the divorce thing like it came out and he doesn't know why he said it like that. Well, my way of thinking is because he must still be thinking along those lines if he said it. Anyways, I told him that I thought that he was sincere when he said he wanted to work things out and he said that he was. And that if he ever changes his mind about it, he will "let me know." Well, the more I think about it, the more I wonder about something. See, last Sunday, we were talking and he said that he knew, if he wanted to come home the next day, I would let him. To which I responded that I didn't know if I would or not, and I was being completely honest. As much as I want him to come home, I can't say for sure that I would let him. It would depend on alot of things. But ever since we were dating, I have NEVER left him and always took him back when he wanted to come back. So he seemed genuinely shocked when I told him that. *deep breath* So now I am wondering if I scared him when I said that because I was no longer his "safety net" to fall back on. So by telling me that he wanted to work things out, he was resecuring his safety net by giving me hope? Maybe that was his way of keeping me hanging on until he decides what it is he wants. What do you think??? Am I completely blowing his "divorce" comment today out of proportion or do you think I am his safety net??
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