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Am I being spiteful

deleted_user
deleted_user
I just wanted to get other people's perspective on this. My ex had rearranged his custody of our three year old this weekend so that he could fly to Indiana to be with his girlfriend. We have every other week starting on Fridays after daycare. It is my scheduled week starting this Friday. We had already rearranged this week to start on Thursday after school so he could fly out to be with his girlfriend. However, with the snowstorm the airlines had told him he needed to leave Wednesday morning. Make a long story sort of short, I agreed to take our son Tuesday night. Well, I get a message from him last night that he was unable to go on his trip. Then today he calls and asks to visit with our son. OK. Sure. We have built in visitation for the other parent during the noncustodial parent's week. These days are Sun, Tues, and Thurs. Here is where I want advice, and I'm sorry this is taking so long. My ex called today and since his trip is cancelled he is now attending his father's 60th b-day on Sat and wants our son to attend. I want to say no because I am tired of rearranging my schedule to fit his but this is family. I also believe that since his father's birthday wasn't important to him, since he scheduled a trip to go see the girlfriend, why should it be impotant to me? Am I being spiteful? Well, yes. But what would you do? I haven't given him an answer yet as I wanted other people's perspective. Thanks for the help.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Honestly, I'd say yes and let him take your son. Heck, think of all the men that dont even bother. Do the reasons or the why's even matter at this point. It's good for your son so in the end it will be good for you no matter how much rearranging you have to do. JMO
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would also let him take your son. His family must know that he chose to visit his new gf instead of going to the party. If you don't let your son go, you will be the evil ex. Take the high road on this one. It will also be good for your son to be there.

If it really bothers you, say something to your ex AFTER the party, if he will be receptive. ~P
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree, I would let him take your son. I know it sucks, but sometimes you have to put your feelings aside and do what is best for your son. If this turns into a pattern that is when I would probably start being more strict about more notice and things like that. At first with my ex I was being very flexible, then when he started to abuse it, I had to set some guilelines. We went to a mediator and now if he wants to change the schedule he has to give me two days notice. Now if something comes up last minute every once and a while, I am ok with it, as long as most of the time we stick to the schedule. Hope that helps some.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks everyone. I knew I was being spiteful and it's not fair to our son. It's just that he is contantly rearranging things with me. However, I need to take the high road. I can not use my son to get to him. Thanks for all the great advice.
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