Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Am I being insensitive?

deleted_user
deleted_user
in a relatinship for 23years being married 18 of those 23 years. lived with 3 affairs from my husband and many many days of selfishness. I have gotten to the point where I feel like I am a single parent because all he seems to be concerned with is what he wants, what he needs when he wants it and nothing else. He spends time with us if its not an inconvenience but would portray to everyone that we are this perfect family. Am I wrong to say enough is enough? He has recently had 3 deaths in his family in the last 6 months with one of those being his only sister and now his mom has recently undergone a very serious operation? I asked for a divorce prior to any of this happening but the first death occured 4 days after I requested a divorce and I put everything on the back burner to be there for him but with no appreciation from him. Am I now being insensitve to want to follow through with the divorce? I am totally miserable and is now contemplating an affair. I have always always hated affairs because I know the hurt they cause.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you should push the divorce on. You had problems before and still do now. But I am a huge believer that having an affair now would be more hurtful and insensitive than going on with the divorce. Be true to your vows whlie they are sill there. End the Marrige and get a divorce, and when you are free of those vows, then you may live your life again.. you have to live with your decisions now for the rest of your life. Stick to your plans, and keep a clear heart.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was with my ex during his mothers death.I helped care for her while she was in her daughters home under hospice care.I took 2 monthes off of work to stay in another state to do this.

When he left my mom was undergoing emergency brain surgery.He disappeared.Didn't know if he was alive or dead.Another stress on top of what I was dealing with.

I didn't find out for 6 monthes he was alive until he just showed up out of the blue.

Guess what.

I survived.I survived it all and more.

He will too.Stop finding excuses to care for him.Care for yourself and your children.

As far as an affair ...2 wrongs don't make a right.If you are contemplating an affair...LEAVE.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are not being selfish or insensitive. You guys have had 23 years to get things right. The problems you have came before the deaths and will be there long after if you stay around. You can still be supportive if you are divorced and living in seperate households.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Get the divorce first, then go for the affair!
deleted_user
deleted_user
it'd be totally STUPID of you to sink to his level and have an affair. just leave first. he don't care if you're there or not. better yet, tell him to leave, just don't belittle yourself by lowering your own standards of ethics and values by having an affair. get divorced first
deleted_user
deleted_user
No you r not being insensitive. You put it on hold and now you should follow thru. I doubt he would have done the same for you. You are only causing yourself misery and grief now.
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