I went into my marriage knowing my wife had depression. Out of love and compassion, I wanted to be her hero, and for a time it worked. She was my best friend and lover, and she was happy. It turned out to be bipolar, and I did my best, through many hospitalizations and suicide attempts, to recover and rescue my best friend and lover. Having been locked in the basement, accused of things I did not do, after hearing my daughter scream when she found her mother nearly dead, the day before leaving for college, and after many other nightmarish events, I have decided I need to leave. It is tragic. For better or worse? I think that really means as long as worse is not all of the time. It turns out I am no hero, and instead feel I am the loneliest man alive, while being married. Does God expect me to give up all of myself for the survival of a marriage? I have decided to keep her on my health plan for about a year prior to actual divorce, so that she can get her life together. Am I bailing or am I rescuing myself?
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