Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Husband left me 9 weeks ago but over the weekend I told him he can't come into the house anymore without my permission as I am paying the mortgage. He's been trying to have his single life with the benefits of coming home whenever he feels like it. He got very angry at me and told me how selfish I was being and threw a few things around and then last night sent me a text calling me a selfish bitch.
He's never laid a hand on me before and hasn't yet but I'm worried that his behaviour might escalate. Do you think it is all just hot air or should I be worried? Has anyone been in the same situation? I can't sleep or eat properly worrying about this.
He's never laid a hand on me before and hasn't yet but I'm worried that his behaviour might escalate. Do you think it is all just hot air or should I be worried? Has anyone been in the same situation? I can't sleep or eat properly worrying about this.
deleted_user
What did he expect when they leave they can't enjoy there single life and return to the past when they feel like it. Stand your ground and keep your head up. The first couple of months is ups and lots of downs but you live thru it even on those days you want to die. Just keep one eye on his behavior and make sure that you build up a good support system around you.
deleted_user
if u are truly concerned. consider a restraining order...
deleted_user
If you have filed for divorce you can have a no contact order put in place with the divorce. A restraining order escalates things - going to court Tuesday to try to get permanent restraining order and wish I didn't have to. If you can get the no contact he can be held accountable for breaking it -i.e. coming over, calling, texting, etc. IF you don't think that is good enough, then go for the protection order, but I am warning you - it is a tough way to go and will make things worse before they get better. I am hoping the best for you!
deleted_user
Are there texts or messages of any kind threatening to hurt you? If all he did was call you names.... I don't think that alone is anything to worry about being hurt physically over. Only you will know if you are in danger. Do what makes you feel most safe.
deleted_user
There is no way to predict his actions. However, if he has always been verbally abusive or controlling (even in subtle ways), the risk of escalation is real. It might help to visit with a counselor at your nearest women's shelter and educate yourself as to what you might expect and what legal or other protective recourses are available to you. Above all else, listen to your gut, it will never steer you wrong.
deleted_user
maybe I jumped up too quick with the GET A RESTRAINING ORDER!! but I was abused for years, sorry, I lost perspective. I have always felt that one should go with their gut, though. What does your gut say?
Thriver
DO change the locks.
deleted_user
Mary, not necessarily. The single largest indicator for potential violent abuse is control and when a woman leaves is when she is most likely to get hurt or killed. A restraining order might not be needed, but only LNR knows for sure. I agree with you and with Thriver, though, really - better safe than sorry. I just know that my abusive stbx sees the protection order as something he has to get revenge for...
deleted_user
everyone is at risk, most have some breaking point - but can he control it. you are probably the only one that can answer that. be careful, situations such as these really are unpredictable.
deleted_user
My husband had never been violent with me until Dec. 06. When he realized he couldn't have me and his mistress, he started to get out of control. He punched a piece of furniture and I left. My inner voice told me I could be next. Talk to the police or a lawyer. Document his behavior.
deleted_user
My ex hit me the night before I moved. I was shocked, but called police and he was arrested. I was able to get away "clean" the next day while he cooled his heels in jail. You never know when someone will do something out of character.
deleted_user
Listen to your gut feeling and trust it.
deleted_user
Mary, I've been throught the abuse situation too. I will do whatever it takes to keep it from happening again. I agree, with the gut, if you're afraid, there's a reason for it.
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