You are not an idiot...just hopeful. Being in the situation we are in, we are setting ourselves up for more hurt. You just have to decide how long you are willing to wait, how many times you are willing to go through this...and you need to be strong. Remember, he turned around when he left. He needs you to be strong. Tough love.

your not an idiot, perhaps just trying to save something that can't be saved. if it were me and i truly wanted to come home, i'd do it under lock and key until i was trusted again. i would do anything to prove myself. but i guess thats me. i know your husband has a lot of issues, but you can't have both. and you can't control him or him taking his meds. he has to want this for himself. don't ever think your an idiot for trying to save your marriage and your family, your brave, because your taking knocks and getting back up. good luck.

Tammi,
Why is getting an honest answer so hard? Perhaps because some people grew up believing that not being honest is how to behave.
Would it work if you changed your phone number?

I feel like I am fighting a 1 one ended battle 3/4 of the time and bu myself the rest of the time. I am fighting to save something that was not healthy at all. I want to try and do the tough love thing, but I have the personality of a healer. It makes it really hard for me. I am going to have to make him come to me. Although I did that and he came to me on Sunday, but maybe he was just lonely.

I honestly don't think it would work if I changed my phone number because I can't control the fact that he will most likely call her back.

Apart of his commitment to you and your family is his total honesty. He says he is willing to do this. What was his response about where he spent last weekend and the previous nights call? Depending how he answers these 2 questions will give you the answer you need about his commitment.

Are you 100% sure the godparents hooked up these 2? Be sure before you cut off ties. They may be just as unsuspecting as you were.

So you have your answer. In the nicest possible way, have you not answered your own question?
Consider the definition of insanity.

I am positive the godparents know....
Are you saying I am insane reinvent?

Tammi
Your story sounds so much like mine. I recently found out that my husband was not "in love" with me and had feelings for another woman (who is also married by the way) and that he had an affair about 3 years ago. Until today, I was willing to forgive him and do whatever I could to make him love me again. Today in our counceling session, he disclosed that before the affair 3 yrs ago, he had also had anothe affair, both of which were sexual. That was the last straw for me. I told him today that it was completely over with us. I have to have enough self respect not to let him do this to me. Even if I do forgive him, I don't accept what he has done to me to be rewarded with my love, attention and more time. I have given him over 14 yrs of my life and I only have my two wonderful boys to show for it. Nothing else from him. I hope that you find strength in yourself and find yourself more worthy of what he is doing to you. I am going to be very lonely and very sad for my loss, but in the end I do believe this is what is best for me and my children, and that is respect. My thoughts are with you. I know first hand what you are going through. Make your decision and don't let him take advantage of your "healing" any longer.

Lord NO! I am not saying that at all.

Just saying, maybe they didn't know what was going on. I don't know your details or how you found out. Was hoping, just maybe, a friendship wasn't lost. But standing in your shoes, if they helped with your husbands cheating, then their never was a true friendship to YOU!

Tammi,
One definition of insanity, and one that was posted here a couple of days ago, is doing the same thing again and again but expecting a different result.
I could not, in all honesty, point a finger at you and call you insane.