Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Allowing myself time

keepthehope
keepthehope
I am trying to decide if 3 months is a good enough time to fully except filing for divorce. My wife wants to see other people while separated but doesnt want to file for divorce because it is a hassle. I cant be married to someone like this but I dont want to be the one filing for a divorce I dont want. Its not that I cant do it, its just if I am going to do it I have to want to do it. Maybe I am trying to give myself the time to get ready for it and accept our failed marriage for what it is. I told my wife we agreed together when we got married and we should be in complete agreement when we end it. I defiantly dont want to drag this out. Maybe this is a way for me to have closure without regrets. Our situation is we dont hate each other we do care for each other so this will be a non contested divorce. I just want to know if I am doing right by allowing me the 3 months to feel like I am ready to divorce or should I shorten the time. Also has anyone done the do it yourself divorce and how is it working for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My ex and I agreed neither of us would file for divorce until we needed out (ie. wanted to remarry) but in the end I HAD to accept I could not remain married to someone who had a blatant disrespect for me and behaved so selfishly towards me and our children and file for divorce.
It wasnt an easy decision but it was the right one in the end...
Good luck with whatever you decide.
(((((hugs)))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you should give yourself all the time you need.If she wants it badly enough she will file. When you are ready you will know. Right now it just seems you're giving yourself excuses for not doing it. i.e. you think you should decide together and she's the one who wants it. I left my husband in laste 2005 and I just filed in July of this year. I'm still holding on to the papers and have yet to send them to him. I want the divorce but I'm not emotionally attached. Take your time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is a tough one. Have you discussed it with your therapist? I think a "cooling off period" might be good for you. I've learned that when I don't know what to do it usually means do nothing.
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