i'm in the same boat. i was the same age and have two wonderful kids from my marriage of nearly 14 years. it wasn't ALL bad, but obviously bad enough to be divorced now. as time passes...hearts heal. it will get easier to move on. you will find someone who will be good to you. don't rush it though. it will happen when you least expect it. that's what 'they' say anyway.

I was with my stbx since I was 19 also and am older than you:)
I'm finding this really hard also. I can't picture myself with anyone else and am just focusing on finding my own identity for now. I read somewhere that you should wait 2 yrs before embarking on another relationship. I think this is good advice and I plan to follow it, although i believe when you meet the right person, it could be at anytime...and don't really believe in a time limit. I just think it is good advice from the perspective that divorce is a loss and similiar to a death. I know that it takes much time to pass before the pain even starts to subside.

I also was married at a very young age, 16, I had 3 wonderful boys, and I was married to the same man for 38 years, and then he decided he didn't want me anymore, I know it's hard, I went from my parents house to being married, never lived alone before, and now I'm seeing what it's like, and I hate it, but I guess I'll survive, so just hang in there, and know we are here for you.

thanks all, your stories are sooo similar. i too have never lived on my own. i moved from my home to living with him. now i dont know what will be. my mom would like me to live with her and with the boys but who knows if a judge will go for that cause her house is only 2 br . im scared and uncertain of the future. i am here for y'll too. thanks again

I have been with mine since I was 19 as well. We would be together this month for 13 years. I think when you are with someone form your teens you grow up together and it seems different. I know it makes me sick to think of mine with someone else. Mine has been emotional abusive and emotional unavailable to me, but i was always there for him. Actually I still am as we are still under the same roof. I am taking it all as a learning lesson. I know now what I want in a man and a relationship. I won't settle for anything less than my new expectations. Just like you, you said you have been controled and now you know what to look for. The 1st sign of control hit the road. Good luck to you and I am here if you need someone to talk too.

I've known my husband my entire adult life. It's been 13 years. He was my first. He wasn't my only lover or boyfriend. I'm glad I got the opportunity to experience other men.

my x lived with her parents then her first x then me now her boyfriend, so i look back and think that she's definitelly missing out on something. experiencing other things, other people. independence, ya know.

Me too, it's been so long and it's so hard to picture some other future. How could it ever have gotten so bad...

Add me to the list of those who were together with their STBX's since they were 19. I think that was part of our problem; I continued to grow up, and he didn't. It took me until our oldest was a teenager for me to realize that I was married to a teenager in an adult's body.

I was 17 when we met and moved in together. 39 when he decided we weren't compatible and he hooked up with someone he felt was the other half. Why did he wait 22 years to decide we weren't compatible? I totally relate to not being able to picture being with another person. I am having a hard time wrapping my mind and heart around any one else being as important as he is and was in my life. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to picture him being with someone esle since he either left for her or hooked up with her as he was signing the lease on his apartment!

I am in pretty much the same boat. Only married 9 years but lived together for 9 years prior. Would of thought I was doing the right thing after 9 damn years?

Also with my stbx since I was 19, we are coming up on 15 years together.

We started dating when I was 15, married at 18 and would be 34 years next month. He decided to trade me in for a younger model. It's very hard figuring out how to live alone. The week my stbx moved out so did my youngest son. I hate it.!

I was 19 when I got married. I didn't think that 19 was young until this happened. I wouldn't change getting married to him, but I do wish that we would've waited instead of rushing.

My stbx was my first love at 16. He is a year older. We married when I was 19 and he was 20. We have been married for 37 1/2 years. He filed this past March because he wasn't "happy". Our two kids are grown and we have 3 grandkids. The worst part of all of it is the loneliness at night when I come home from work. There is no one to share my day with or to ask anyone how their day was. No one to call and check up on or to ask to bring home a loaf of bread or anything. If I don't do what needs to be done around here it doesn't get done. I don't want to ever marry again but I miss the companionship and having a spouse to go with me to events and out to eat, etc. I'm so tired of this depression and keep thinking it will go away but it comes back. I hate things that trigger the depression. I hate a lot of things right now and it is so unlike me. I have always been a loving, caring person and now I seem to care about nothing.