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alimony/divorce nightmare!

deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm 6 months into this divorce, haven't talked or seen stbx we deal only through attorneys. judge still hasn't approved alimony (keep hearing anyday now) trial is set for nov 20th (for the divorce). I'm still storing all his crap he "wants" his stuff but hasn't come to get it.. now I find out that he and his sister have hired a private investigator to follow me to "catch" me with my "boyfriend"!!!!!!
I was so pissed off, I haven't even touched a man, I haven't even gone on a date. In fact It will be a year on halloween since I "you know" I think that almost makes me a virgin again!
Is it too hard for this jerk to understand that just maybe its to soon for me. Just maybe I'm busy taking care of my daughter!!!
I did find some humor in it, I must be very boring to follow lets see. Daughters dance, daughters school (I have a car pool with 3 other kids), work, wal-mart, tuesday night gun club (with snior citizens), gym. wow I'm such a rebel!!!
anyone have anything like this happen?
what can I do?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wouldn't know if I was being followed, but my life is work, home, and bowling with the kids on Fridays, and Sunday church!
I got the judge to order spousal support in June, finally started getting it last week. Hang in there, this ride can't last forever...can it?
deleted_user
deleted_user
A good friend of mine told me that how we are is how we see others. She told me this when I was telling her about how stupid I felt for believing all the lies my stbxh had been telling me. She pointed out that when I told him I went to the store, I had gone to the store. When I told him I was at home, I was at home. So when he told me what he was doing or where he was, I believed him, because I always was telling the truth. So it goes to reason that my stbx didn't trust me, because he was lying so therefore thought I was as well. Your ex probably thinks the same way. If he's behaving badly, he assumes you are as well. It is funny to think about some poor smuck following you around doing ho-hum things. I would be tempted to take myself to some interesting places if I was being followed. Or, if you figure out who it is and see him, call the cops and say some nut is following you and they can come check it out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
there not really smart, I have a journal and its the same two men, seperatley, one day one will follow a few days later the other one. each has at least two cars they use. in July it was 118 degrees other than hell, I went to the gym and the P.I pulled in after me. when I came out an hour or so later he was in his truck sitting there with the windows down... duh! hope they paid him alot of money..
deleted_user
deleted_user
my former husband (not recent ex) had someone follow me. He got this hairbrained idea that I was having an affair. I knew of course that I wasn't so I didn't worry about it. Just went about my business...and man o man did I do some business! I drove to malls, walked around and didn't buy anything, went to the health club and worked out for hours.

Let the guy follow you! It doesn't really matter anyway. Judges and courts care less about the reason for the divorce...it has no bearing whatsoever on the financial settlements. Why do people think it matters?
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is his DENIAL that perhaps you just don't want HIM because of whatever problems you had... it is easier to BLAME someone else than to take a look at yourself. The more you try to defend yourself the more he will think you are guilty. My counselor told me to keep saying. "I'm sorry that you feel that way but those are just not the facts". It was weird for me to say and very hard to do because you want to scream at them but I stopped dancing his song and I think he is getting closer to accepting that it was just broken and no other man did it.

I separated 6 years ago and he scoured for evidence and whatever he found, it was proof! NOT! Anyhow, he has been doing that for a year now and I know that whoever I date first someday will be blamed for causing the divorce because some people just fail to ACCEPT that maybe it's not someone else.
Che2
Che2
Let him pay to have you followed. Hope it's costing him a fortune.
CanadianRose
CanadianRose
You should go on a roadtrip with the kids for on a holiday weekend.. I wonder how much that costs to have someone follow you 24/7 for a weekend?

they watch way too much telly you know.. and their friends and relatives fill their heads with crap...

If you are legally separated, it does not matter if you are seeing someone now or not.. what matters is that you are taking care of your children and that you are not breaking the law, or abusing drugs or alcohol.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ....
deleted_user
deleted_user
First of all, you are doing the right thing in focusing on being a good mom. Secondly, your ex sgould realize that his money would be betters erved going to you in the form of child support. I think it would be funnier to walk over to the PI's following you and invite them in for coffee; perhaps even funnier if one is attractive enough, have your husband PAY for the PI'S time to ahem spend time with you. LOL I wonder if that would go in the report!
deleted_user
deleted_user
what a waste of money. think of them as body guards. now the alimony thing needs to be worked on before nov 20th. in florida its no fault so you could have an entourage of men and it wouldnt matter. tell the men if you can catch up with them, they can take your daughter and you out to dinner instead of sitting in acar. or write on the back window of your van, follow me. Lord what little minds our stbx have. maybe its jealousy which is flattery
deleted_user
deleted_user
Get a piece of cardboard and draw a camera on it. When you see these guys, hold it up and underneath write "Smile, I got you too"! That should take care of that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
thats funny-but i guess you are not laughing-my pstbx-has a gps on my phone-thats funny since i never do anything and he is always out of the house.when i do leave i turn my phone off-that gets him so mad
deleted_user
deleted_user
So let me see if I get this right. Your are not getting any support right now. I have been paying support since the second month of seperation how does that work. I don't get this how come I have to pay out the nose and the rest of these idiots get of with out a problem. Tana I hope your lawyer is on the ball because stbx's liar is not impressive and I have been paying for months.
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