Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
A friend of mine has a huge Labrador Retriever. It eats a lot, and we went to the store to buy a large bag of dog food. We were in line to check out and a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.
The "what a moron!" look on my buddy's face was priceless, and I knew what it meant: he was going to toy with her.
He told her that no, he was starting The Purina Diet again although he probably shouldn't -- he said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind the woman.
Horrified, she asked why he ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina made him sick? He told her no; he'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking his balls and a car hit him.
The woman turned fire-engine red, and I helped the tall guy up off the floor.
The "what a moron!" look on my buddy's face was priceless, and I knew what it meant: he was going to toy with her.
He told her that no, he was starting The Purina Diet again although he probably shouldn't -- he said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind the woman.
Horrified, she asked why he ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina made him sick? He told her no; he'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking his balls and a car hit him.
The woman turned fire-engine red, and I helped the tall guy up off the floor.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
my dog died 7 weeks ago.. damnit!.. I feel like buying dogfood just for the hell of it anyways.. but I aint got balls.
I bet one of you guys could pull this one off!.. wear a cup.. cos some woman will kick you in the balls forsure!
Thanks for the laugh! ROFLMAO!
THANKS!
Four months later doctor runs into woman in grocery store, asks about her husband..she replies "he's dead!".
Horrified the doctor says, "surely it wasn't the dog food was it?". the woman says, "oh no not at all, he was in the driveway licking his penis when I backed my SUV over him!".
Here's your sign...