I feel like I am a horrible person. I keep wanting things (feelings)to be different and so I keep living life has if it was different. However, I do realize that I am not doing anyone including my husband, my kids and myself and favors. I giving everyone the a sense of hope. I feel like the more I do this the harder it is to move forward. On that same note, I am not even sure what forward is anymore. Is it telling "jon" my husband to leave and getting a roommate so that I am able to keep the house. Is it keeping things the way it is and continue pretending like I have for the past year. I am not sure anymore! Both decisions SUCK. I am not very proud of how I handled things. This is so against my nature.Please someone give me some ideas to send me on the right path.
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