
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
Ok I need some advice here. I have been seperated from my husnbund for 6 months and our divorce will be final next Monday. He cheated on me because he decided I was overweight and he wanted someone more attractive. He said lots of cruel things to me regarding my weight, so my self esteem was pretty low.
About 2 months ago I started dating a really great guy. After about a month we started having sex. He's 35. About 2 weeks after we started doing this we had a little problem. We were getting hot and heavy an then he couldn't.....get it up. I immediately think it's because of me. My husband didn't find me attractive so maybe he decided I was gross too. He swore up and down that it wasn't me. But when it happened everything that husband said to me came back. It has been over two weeks since this happened and we haven't had sex since.
So what's the deal?? Is it me????? Or is he embarrassed that it happened??? I just don't know what to think. I have asked him and he swears it has nothing to do with me. But ever since that happened I don't feel like we're dating. I just feel like we're friends who hang out.
So guys....help me!!! What would you be thinking???????
Thanks!!
About 2 months ago I started dating a really great guy. After about a month we started having sex. He's 35. About 2 weeks after we started doing this we had a little problem. We were getting hot and heavy an then he couldn't.....get it up. I immediately think it's because of me. My husband didn't find me attractive so maybe he decided I was gross too. He swore up and down that it wasn't me. But when it happened everything that husband said to me came back. It has been over two weeks since this happened and we haven't had sex since.
So what's the deal?? Is it me????? Or is he embarrassed that it happened??? I just don't know what to think. I have asked him and he swears it has nothing to do with me. But ever since that happened I don't feel like we're dating. I just feel like we're friends who hang out.
So guys....help me!!! What would you be thinking???????
Thanks!!
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keep talking to him about it but leave the was it me out of the conversation because that will detract from the real issue. There are hundreds of reasons that could explain why this happened, but now that it did, he is probably full of anxiety about it. If he cares for you, the question 'was it me' is even tougher because he may be afraid that if he happens again it will hurt your feelings. I wouldn't be surprised if he actively avoids sex just because he is scared that it will happen again. You need to keep talking to him and make him comfortable. He's probably anxious and scared, talk to him.
I keep thinking if he wasn't intersted then why do we keep making plans to see each other. We have even already made plans for New Years.
I'm just so new to this dating thing, I never thought I'd have to do it again!
Thanks again everyone!!! :)
Don't put pressure on your friend. Give it time and see what happens. Let the passion build. If in time he still avoids this I would talk to him and be supportive. There are many ways to fix this.
Again....he probably feels much worse than you.
Enjoy each other!