Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I discovered a couple of years ago that my husband was addicted to gambling - in a year he lost more than I earnt! I confronted him about it and he was apologetic and begged me not to leave him, saying he'd stop. I encouraged him to get help - therapy or GA - but he was adamant he didn't need it.
As a result of some text message on his mobile, I also suspected he was having an affair with a colleague - he insisted he'd never cheated on me, but I do believe they had an inappropriately emotional & intimate relationship even if they never had sex. I could never get any proof though - his phone and PC are both protected by several passwords, and if not with him then switched off. (Is that the behaviour of someone with nothing to hide?)
A year later I found out he was gambling still/again. He tried to convince me it wasn't as big a problem now and he was getting 'better' -but I know he lied to me about the amount of time and money involved. He still refused to get any help. I asked him to let me help, but he keeps on lying to me.
A couple of months ago, I found out its still happening. I confronted him again, and this time he said its not a problem, he doesn't need help, and in a nutshell said its my fault he does it at all. On top of that he also seems to have developed a pornography addiction and has signed up to 'adult' websites, presumably to seek a relationship or make contact with prostitutes. I don't think he's actually done anything yet, but I guess its just a matter of time.
I want out now - I don't want to be with someone who has no respect for me and isn't prepared to make any effort to improve things for himself or our marriage. BUT, the house & mortgage are in his name, we don't even have a joint bank account. I gave up my career to support his several years ago and my current salary would barely stretch to a bedsit. We don't have kids.
I've been advised that because we have no dependants and I can't prove adultery then I have no right to a share of 'his' assets or any spousal support if I choose to leave him. Is that true? What can I do?
As a result of some text message on his mobile, I also suspected he was having an affair with a colleague - he insisted he'd never cheated on me, but I do believe they had an inappropriately emotional & intimate relationship even if they never had sex. I could never get any proof though - his phone and PC are both protected by several passwords, and if not with him then switched off. (Is that the behaviour of someone with nothing to hide?)
A year later I found out he was gambling still/again. He tried to convince me it wasn't as big a problem now and he was getting 'better' -but I know he lied to me about the amount of time and money involved. He still refused to get any help. I asked him to let me help, but he keeps on lying to me.
A couple of months ago, I found out its still happening. I confronted him again, and this time he said its not a problem, he doesn't need help, and in a nutshell said its my fault he does it at all. On top of that he also seems to have developed a pornography addiction and has signed up to 'adult' websites, presumably to seek a relationship or make contact with prostitutes. I don't think he's actually done anything yet, but I guess its just a matter of time.
I want out now - I don't want to be with someone who has no respect for me and isn't prepared to make any effort to improve things for himself or our marriage. BUT, the house & mortgage are in his name, we don't even have a joint bank account. I gave up my career to support his several years ago and my current salary would barely stretch to a bedsit. We don't have kids.
I've been advised that because we have no dependants and I can't prove adultery then I have no right to a share of 'his' assets or any spousal support if I choose to leave him. Is that true? What can I do?
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I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
I'm sorry you are going through this. Your husband is definitely in denial. YOUR fault he is gambling? Give me a break. It sounds like he has some major issues and you can't fix them if you can't acknowledge them. Good luck.
Best of luck!