This may vary by state, but in my state, adultery is very hard to prove. I was told that you almost did need actual proof of them sleeping together. If you hire a PI, you can have your evidence documented and your attorney let the PI know what evidence they will need to support your case.

I talked to a lawyer... I thought copies of the emails and pictures of them and hotel receipts would do it... he said NO

I'd have to hire a private investigator to video and catch them in the action -- for me it is not worth the pain I would feel.

I decided not to pursue and focus on my mental state and getting on with my life.

Good luck to you.

I got a divorce on grounds of adultry. In SC you need someone 3rd party " witness". My ex brought one because he did not want me to have his girlfriend subpoena'd to court. I would have and unless she was willing to lie under oath I would have gotton my divorce anyway. Talk to your attny. Is there anyone else who you are sure knows about the affair. Just threatening my ex with dragging his girlfriend to our divorce hearing was enough for him to give me what I needed. I was determined to get a divorce on grounds of adultry. That was the reason for the end of our marriage and that was what was going down in the record books!

If you are in a no fault state it doesn't matter if you video taped him doing her. You still get 50/50 split. No fault means not fault.

Yea, no fault is best. Cut your losses and get out. In Illinois you are supposed to be separated for 6 months before divorce. If you want out sooner you can file for mental cruelty or something. It really is better in divorce to cut your losses and get out. Find revenge in moving on with your life and being happy. It took me a while to realize that, but it's true.