I have come to the conclusion that I have to accept that its over between him and I. His lies have become his truth and the only way things are going to change is if I stop allowing him to treat me like shit. In the past 82 days he has hurt me every day. He has failed as a boyfriend, fiance and father. The longer I keep holding on the more I am just going to get hurt. Other then him being with someone else I feel there is alot more he has been hiding from me since he has left and it saddens me more then words can say. I have to let go. I can't believe that on this date next year I would have married him and would have been his wife. Its a bitter sweet feeling I have towards that as I sit here and write this. I have to be strong for not only my son but also myself. However, the thing I have been avoiding for the past 11 days is that I am late and I could be pregnet with his child right now. I am afraid to find out because then wtf am I sopose to do if I am pregnet? I already have a child with him and ever since he has left (almost 3 months ago) I have gotten a big $20 from him and he has emotionally abandoned our son. He choose this other girl over both me and our son. I hope karma finds him and kicks him in the ass. I have said it before and I will say it again....Karma is a bigger bitch then I even could be.
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