Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I keep kicking myself for grieving over someone who does not love me. I wish that I could find comfort in telling myself that I should be grateful that I am not with someone who was not able to return love and compassion to another. It seems that knowledge should help take the pain away. I know logically that I don't want someone who does not want me and in knowing this I push myself to try and believe that it should not hurt. I never wanted to make him love me or be with me and now I feel a sense of embarrassment when I realized that he did not have the same depth of feeling that I had. He put all of his attention and effort elsewhere. I wish he had not stayed involved with me because in retrospect I can look back and see that he was never very enthusiastic about me. We bought a house together February of this year. It seemed to me that if you buy a house together it is a commitment (we were not married but together for about 4 years). I believe that if I had felt more valuable as a person that I would have seen earlier on that he did not show great feeling for me. I guess I convinced myself that it was just his personality and that he did not know how to show love. Paradoxically he could show enthusiasm and enjoyment in his many friendships. I always wondered where I fit in. Geez, I checked with him throughout our time together as to his feeling and he always told me that it was me and that he did not know how he could get it across to me that he did care. His actions were otherwise. I have a real problem in that I believe the words and rationalizing the actions. Thanks for listening. This sucks.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
We can't always know everything and we did what we could.
I am so sorry for your pain.
Be kind to yourself.
I went through all the same things you described, believing his words and rationalizing his actions. He never really seemed to be in love with me the way I was with him, but I convinced myself that it was just "the way he was".
In retrospect, I feel really stupid and embarrassed for believing him all that time, when he clearly didn't feel much for me at all.
I am finally starting to get over him, but my self-esteem is still about as low as it gets. Being in a relationship like that does a job on you, believe me.
We never bought a house together, although he'd wanted to a few years ago. Something in me was afraid of taking that next step with him, and we WERE married. But buying a house seemed almost like too much of a commitment to me. Now I'm sooooo glad, because that's one less thing we had to deal with when we separated.
You will get through this, and eventually you'll come to see that he did you a favor by leaving. I know, I didn't believe it either, but now I do. We deserve to be with someone who LOVES us, not someone who just pretends to.